What are the psychological motivations behind infidelity?
The discovery of infidelity often triggers an emotional tsunami: shock, disbelief, anger, a sense of emptiness, confusion. These are just a few of the many emotions experienced when finding out your partner has had an affair.
So, why do people cheat? And why do individuals betray their partners even when they are happy in their relationships?
It’s an event that is deeply destabilizing; People may feel lost, disoriented, and some may experience guilt, while others may feel wounded, as their self-esteem has been shattered.
In nearly all instances, those who have often been betrayed struggle to understand why their partner felt the need – or couldn’t resist – the embrace of another person.
Why Do People Cheat? Exploring the Psychological Motivations Behind Infidelity
**Did Your Partner Cheat on You This Summer?**
Why People Cheat:
There are multiple reasons why people cheat; Each couple has their own story and dynamics, and the motivations behind one’s decision to cheat are unique as well.
Let’s explore some different factors — some of which are fundamentally tied to the relationship itself. In these instances, infidelity often becomes the tip of the iceberg, revealing underlying issues. Here are a few examples:
Relationship Issues: While it may seem obvious, the quality of the relationship plays a crucial role when discussing infidelity. When emotional or sexual satisfaction within the partnership becomes unsatisfactory or neglected, the temptation to seek fulfillment elsewhere increases. Often, infidelity becomes an (albeit clumsy) attempt to signal distress in the hopes of addressing underlying issues or to definitively break the bond.
Vengeance or Payback: In certain situations, a person may cheat as an act of vengeance or sanction against their partner in response to an offense or a breach of trust. It can be a way to level the playing field in response to a previous betrayal.
Lack of Communication: Inadequate communication or a lack of openness and dialogue within the relationship can lead to misunderstandings and frustrations that may drive a person toward infidelity.
What Drives Individuals to Cheat?
In addition to issues primarily concerning the couple, there are other reasons that may drive a person to cheat, which could be more related to one partner rather than a couple’s issues. This is often the case when seemingly happy couples are blindsided by infidelity.
Personality Traits or Disorders: Some individuals, due to certain personality traits or personality disorders, are more prone to cheating. For example, those with narcissistic personality traits or a narcissistic personality disorder may be more inclined to cheat than others.
Attachment Style: Attachment style relates to how an individual handles significant relationships. For instance, individuals with an insecure attachment style may be more inclined to cheat to fulfill their need for affection and emotional security.
Longing for Validation or Self-Esteem: Some people may seek confirmation or reassurance about their attractiveness or desirability through infidelity, looking for attention or approval from someone else.
Personal Issues or Dissatisfaction: Personal challenges like insecurities, depression, stress, or a desire to experience a new phase of life can influence a person’s behavior, leading them to cheat.
These motivations do not justify infidelity, but they can provide an explanation for why some individuals might make this choice. Open communication, mutual trust, and ongoing work on the relationship are crucial for preventing infidelity and addressing challenges that may arise within a couple.
If you’re interested in the topic of infidelity, you can explore it further with the podcast Le ragioni del tradimento (The Reasons Behind Infidelity), hosted by Elena Zauli, the author of this article, and Dr. Elena Carbone.
