Jonathan Bennett, Kay Jewelers
Credit: Matthew Schueller

The wedding world has grown more inclusive but still has a long way to go. Case in point: when TV host Jaymes Vaughan was planning a summer proposal for his longtime boyfriend, actor Jonathan Bennett, the jewelry industry came up short. “I could not find a single major retailer that had anything that was specifically for us,” he recalls in an exclusive interview with GRAZIA USA. To move forward with popping the question in November of last year, Vaughan reached out to Kay Jewelers to create custom white gold bands for the occasion.

The rings generated so much fanfare that Kay and Vaughan made them widely available, specifically for LGBTQIA+ couples similarly lacking options. Starting today, the brand has released a similar version of their design to the public. Our Ring by Jaymes + Jonathan is now available on the jeweler’s website. “We need to pave the way,” says Vaughan. “We thought we were just going to get engaged to get married, and that was it. But as we’re seeing these spaces that don’t exist, we’re like, ‘Let’s create them, let’s go for it, so another couple after us doesn’t have to go through this.'”

Ahead, Vaughan and Bennett chat with GRAZIA to discuss the wedding band they’ve designed for Kay Jewelers, wedding planning, and why LGBTQIA+ representation matters now more than ever.

GRAZIA: Congratulations on your engagement! Jaymes, how did you pop the question to Jonathan?

JAYMES VAUGHAN:  Throughout our relationship, we were always trying to find a song that was “our song.” We couldn’t find it—there was always a word that was wrong, or a line that was wrong. Well, my background is in music, so I was trying to figure out, “How am I going to propose to this guy that is in Hallmark movies and romantic comedies?” Like, he’s already done it all in the movies—how can I possibly make this better? I was like, “Oh, I know what I can do! I’ll write a song that fits us perfectly, and then I’ll propose to him.” I wrote this song for him called “Our Song,” and my plan was to do it in the backyard of our house in Palm Springs when his family was here for Thanksgiving. And [I] got the ring, got the song, got the fiancé, got him in the backyard, had the family here all socially distanced and spread out, and popped the question. In the video on Instagram, you’ll see Jonathan doing the ugliest cry you’ve ever seen in the entire world. I knew it was going to happen the minute he walked outside and saw me with the sign I had. I had a sign that said, “We never could find our song, so I wrote it for you.” 

Jonathan Bennett, Kay Jewelers
Credit: Kay Jewelers

GRAZIA: You decided to make your custom Kay design available to the public. How did that level of collaboration come about?

JV: There’s still so much underrepresentation for the LGBTQIA+ community in the engagement and wedding industry. From the start, when I designed this ring to propose with, I was saying to Kay, “Guys, this needs to be something that exists for everyone.” After I proposed to Jonathan, people started custom ordering the ring. That only added fuel to the fire of realizing we needed to do this, and that is why we jumped on it, and we’re doing it now.

GRAZIA: What was the process like when you were designing the ring and choosing materials?

JV: I traced the outline of my poke takeout container, sketched around that, and that’s how we first started with the design team, going back and forth and getting this idea to come to life. I wanted the diamonds to be on the inside, because when you look at them, they’re kind of a hidden diamond. When you look at the top of it, you don’t really see them, but on the inside they’re all there. So, if you’re a blingy person—which I am, and I wanted that—it’s there, and you can see it anytime you want to see it. But if you’re not a blingy person, like Jonathan, it’s only there when you want to see it.

Jonathan Bennett, Kay Jewelers
OUR RING BY JAYMES & JONATHAN MEN’S DIAMOND WEDDING BAND, $3,200 VIA KAY JEWELERS. SHOP NOW

GRAZIA: This is the first time that a larger retailer like Kay is making same-sex wedding bands.  What has your involvement in this experience been like?

JONATHAN BENNETT: Making history making the same-sex wedding bands, might I add! Having a ring that’s available from a major retailer, that you don’t have to go in and custom order, takes away the “otherness” of your LGBTQ+ relationship. It says, “Hey, we have something available to you, because your love is just as valid and means just as much as everyone else’s love.” You don’t have to customize and custom make something special so you can have a ring.

JV: I remember the first time I got a message from someone, this guy Max, who proposed his boyfriend. He reached out to me and said, “I’ve been trying to find a place to go in my town where I feel safe to walk in the store, and I’m not going to get weird looks, I’m not going to get treated poorly. You doing this let me know that I could do it with Kay. And I went and got the same ring design that you did, and I’m proposing with it.” In that moment, I was like, “This is the reason we do these things.” Even if it’s just for that one person and his engagement, and his moment, that he got to have this and not worry about it. Because, you know how it is. I mean, you walk into a place, there’s still places you don’t know, “Am I safe to walk in here? Is my love is safe to be in here right now?” And so, to be able to create a space like that…it’s phenomenal, and it’s so moving. I hope it’s just the beginning of major change in the industry, to be more inclusive of the LGBTQ+ community and our love.

GRAZIA: Let’s talk wedding planning! What has your process been like, so far?

JV: You know, it’s a lot of work. Luckily, there are resources like The Knot that are helping us plan. They have so many useful resources on their site—we can just go in, and it will walk you through the process of what you should be doing and when. For us, the biggest question was just picking “where.” Our “where” was a no-brainer, and that was UNICO Resort in Riviera Maya, Mexico, because it is one of the most welcoming, diverse places we’ve ever been. For a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you feel so welcome and so celebrated from the moment you walk into that resort. So, we knew that was the place we wanted to say, “I do.” We have this whole campaign we’re doing, called “Safe and Celebrated,” where we are highlighting the retailers, places, people, et cetera who were not only safe to work with, but we’re celebrated when we’re working with them.

JB: I think, from the moment you get engaged until your honeymoon, there should be nothing but excitement and joy every step of the way in every decision you’re making. We really wanted to curate a list of places and businesses that are safe and celebrated for the community, so you only experience joy on this entire journey. We don’t want to talk about it, but we actually got told “No” at a resort prior. It was actually the best thing that ever happened, because it really triggered us to realize that we still need to evolve so much as a society, and in the wedding industry, to be inclusive of everyone.

GRAZIA: Have you been approaching different parts of the planning process together, or “divide and conquering” elements of your wedding?

JV: Well, we started a Pinterest board.

JB: Never thought I would say I’d be that person, but we did [Laughs]. We started a Pinterest board!

JV: It’s your wedding, it’s no one else’s, you should do what you want. Our bridal parties are actually not going to be “groomsmen,” or “maid of honor,” or “best man”—we’re simply calling everybody our “best.” They won’t be in specific, traditionally gendered clothing, they can wear what they want. We know our whole vibe is going to be very much greens and whites, a lot of white roses. White roses signify Jonathan’s mom, who passed seven years ago.

JB: One tradition that we want to break and make our own tradition is that we’re going to see each other on our wedding day. We think that’s the silliest tradition, that you don’t see each other on the wedding day. He’s my best friend, and, well, I don’t have a lot of family left. If I don’t talk to him, who am I going to talk to on my wedding day?

JV: So we’re going to wake up, just like normal, and then go get married.

JB: Yeah. Who’s going to fix my hair if he’s not there?

Jonathan Bennett, Kay Jewelers
Credit: Matthew Schueller

GRAZIA: Do either of you know what you’re wearing for the big day yet?

JV: We want to go as timeless as possible. We want it to be, if you see photos, you [won’t] know if it’s from 1922, 2022, or 2122. So, we definitely want to do a classic, clean tux look. As far as what color those are going to be yet…

JB: I want blue!

JV: He wants blue, I want black. I want it as classic as possible, right? We’re trying to figure out if he’s going to wear a different one than me, if we’re going to wear the same thing, if they’re going to be the same vibe, or a little bit different. Again, there’s not a ton of tradition in this, so we’re paving our own way as far as what we want to do.

GRAZIA: What advice do you have for other couples planning weddings right now?

JB: Take tradition and throw it to the wind, because it is your special day. I find that sometimes people get caught up in the stressors of what they’re supposed to do on their wedding, instead of the joys of what they get to do on their wedding.

JV: Yeah, you’re marrying your best friend that day. Make sure that you are enjoying it and not stressing the process.

GRAZIA: As Pride month begins, what do you think people can do to continue opening doors for LGBTQIA+ communities?

JV: The best thing anyone can do, whether it’s a business or a person, but especially businesses, is prioritize representation. You know, be pioneers like Kay Jewelers and represent individuals of the LGBTQ+ community loudly and proudly. And don’t just do it in the month of June! We appreciate it, we appreciate the support in the month of June—we do, we do, we do. But show that support all year long.

JB: I think the other big thing for allies, but also within our community, is to listen. If someone tells you, “I don’t feel represented here,” don’t get defensive. Instead, say, “Okay, what can I do to help?” And then listen.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.