When you feel a strong dislike or hatred towards someone—seemingly without reason—investigate the causes, and you’ll gain deeper self-understanding. At times, we experience emotions that we can’t quite comprehend, but if interpreted correctly, they can reveal more about ourselves (and other people).
For instance, we might feel angry, annoyed, or uncomfortable whenever we encounter a particular person. It’s a gut feeling, even if there isn’t a specific reason behind it.
It could be an instant reaction or something that grows as we interact with that old friend/colleague/family member.
This feeling might even pose challenges if we experience it towards people who are very close to us.
So, what should we do? How can we navigate this uncomfortable situation? And what can we learn about ourselves from this annoyance? The key is to understand where that feeling comes from. We’ll explain how to do that.
How to Use to Your Advantage People You Don’t Like
Ask Yourself Questions
Pose questions to yourself without necessarily expecting immediate answers.
Gut feelings typically work and perceive things long before rationality kicks in.
When you sense discomfort around someone, you could ask yourself specific questions: what about this person makes me uneasy? Does it remind me of any behavior or attitude I know? If so, is it about myself or someone close to me?
Reflect on Yourself
If something about someone makes you angry, it might be because it reflects an aspect of your personality that you can’t stand.
Indeed, it’s often assumed that such behavior would bother everyone, but that’s not necessarily the case.
Someone might feel uncomfortable with a brash behavior but could easily forget about it shortly after because they’re not particularly affected.
Someone else, however, might linger with that feeling of discomfort and unease at the mere thought of encountering that person again.
Harness that Hatred to Your Advantage
It happens: we hate someone who mirrors aspects of ourselves that we simply don’t like. We might want to get rid of them or not see them, but they’re there.
So, the other person becomes our mirror, and in the face of that behavior, an unexpected hatred arises that we didn’t think we were capable of feeling.
Try to delve into that aspect of yourself—are you keeping it at bay? Is it causing problems with others?
There’s always room for improvement, even thanks to what we feel towards other people.”
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This article first appeared on grazia.it – Elisa Castellano
