In his new Hulu documentary, “Life in Pink,” Machine Gun Kelly details the moment in July 2020 that made him realise he needed to drastically change his life for the better.
Kelly says he battled depression while he was mourning the loss of his father, who died on July 5th 2020, saying one night, while feeling “really, really dark”, he “snapped” and put a loaded gun in his mouth while on the phone with now-fiancée Megan Fox.
“I wouldn’t leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark,” Kelly said. “Megan went to Bulgaria to shoot a movie and I started getting this really wild paranoia. Like, I kept getting paranoid that someone was gonna come and kill me,” he continued.
Adding he would always sleep with a shotgun next to his bed, Kelly says he “just fuking snapped” that day. “I called Megan. I was like, ‘You aren’t here for me.’ I’m in my room and I’m, like, freaking out on her. Dude, I put the shotgun in my mouth. And I’m yelling on the phone and like the barrel is in my mouth. And I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet, as it comes back up, the shell just gets jammed. Megan’s like dead silent.”
Kelly said that moment was when he realised that “something’s not right.” Adding that Fox and his 12-year-old daughter Casie were a huge influence on his decision to get clean. “‘I want to like, see you as my father’ and ‘I want to see you as my husband-to-be’ and I was like, I need to kick the drugs for real this time,” he said.
Kelly added Fox’s good influence on him, saying she “became the sun” to him and helped him to positively change his life.
“That’s what helps me write those songs. ‘Cause it’s just like every fairytale that they never told you in school…the passion between us is just otherworldly,” he said.
