The common refrain that comes along with long acrylic nails is, “How do you do ______?” Whether it’s picking things up, typing on a computer, or, you know, bathroom-related activities, the people are always wondering how the long-taloned folk of the world function. My first hobby was biting my nails, and so I had to learn how to adjust after my queen Julie Kandelec gave me CND Plexigel extensions to not being able to scratch my back and re-learn how to type, so I am still trying to find out the answers to this question. In fact, I was handing a can of LaCroix to my friend to open because my nails were too long when Sunisa “Suni” Lee was winning Olympic Gold in long, white acrylic nails painted with the Olympic rings.
I repeat: Suni Lee Was Winning Olympic Gold With Long White Acrylic Nails, And I Cannot Even Open A Can On My Own.
Here’s a zoomed-in image of these acrylics, who deserve a gold medal of their own:
They’re not too long — not Cardi B or Billie Eilish length — and we can see on her left ring finger that there likely had been a sacrificed tip, which is fair because she’s a LITERAL OLYMPIAN IN GYMNASTICS. I’m over here sleeping in my contacts because I’m afraid of scratching my cornea while Lee became the first Asian-American woman to win gold in the Olympics’ all-around gymnastics competition. We are not the same.
Yet again, here we are, a gymnast making it all look easy, but man, does knowing this fact about Lee makes me feel like I can do anything. Even if that anything is, you know, unbuttoning my pants in the evening, I can be a winner too, baby!
Now, while you try to open that can of Spindrift, rewatch Lee’s floor performance and believe you, too, are capable of greatness. I believe in you.