A contestant on ‘Sexy Beasts’
A contestant on ‘Sexy Beasts’ (Image: courtesy of Netflix)

Here’s the conversation that I imagine resulted in Netflix greenlighting its new dating show Sexy Beasts:

“What if BoJack Horseman, but live action?”

“Ooh, how about The Masked Singer but it’s The Love Connection?”

“Yes! The Bachelor, but for furries!”

It’s a very “yes, and…” kind of company—for the first couple seasons anyway. Or maybe Jack Donaghy is just trying to tank the network!

Actually, it turns out Sexy Beasts is based on a UK series that ran for one season on BBC Three, and was already imported once for A&E in 2015. The reality dating show features sexy people wearing elaborate special effects makeup and going out on dates with other sexy people in elaborate special effects makeup.

Anyway, whatever strange executive coke bender or ayahuasca trip gave birth to this latest incarnation of the show, Netflix dropped the trailer today. Behold: the ne plus ultra of Dadaist late-stage American streaming wars capitalism.

According to Netflix, the “point” of all the fur and silicon, apparently, is to cut through the superficiality of dating. Per the show’s description, “SEXY BEASTS is the dating show that takes looks completely out of the equation using fantastical, cutting edge prosthetics to transform the daters — giving them a chance to find love purely based on personality.”

So, as you can see in the trailer, aliens and grasshoppers and scarecrows take pandas and dolphins and devils out for drinks and bowling and carriage rides. And the whole time they’re trying to woo each other using only their…”personalities.” Not that the masks stop some of these presumably heterosexual singles from being complete tools. “Ass first, personality second,” says the guy with the beaver head of his priorities in a mate. Lucky for him, it’s pretty easy to see that every contestant on this show has a killer bod; it’s just their faces that are concealed.

The six-episode season drops July 21.

thoughts?