You know that commercial where Oprah says, “I LOVE BREAD”? Of course you do, it’s the most quotable commercial since Eva Longoria pronounced every syllable of “hyaluronic acid.” The emphasis and enthusiasm that Oprah has for bread in that commercial is the same level of enthusiasm I have for lipstick (and for bread, honestly.) July 29 is National Lipstick Day, aka one of my personal high holy holidays, and I’m here to talk to you about lipstick.
Lipstick is f*cking cool and we all as a society should respect the art form it is. It’s hard to make a really, really good lipstick, and that’s not even tackling bullet vs. liquid, satin vs. matte. It is art. When I was in middle school, I read Emma Forrest’s ‘Cherries In The Snow’, a book named after the infamous Revlon lipstick of the same name, and because of that book, I take intimate, precise time applying my lipstick and always have a tube of Cherries In The Snow, an orange-red that doesn’t work on my natural undertone whatsoever. (It’s the principle of the matter, you see.) It’s an emotional practice to apply lipstick — finding the right formula and texture, realizing that ‘red’ can be an entire range of shades, and the actual application itself. I don’t wear as much lipstick now as I did a few years ago, but when I worked in a job with an all-black uniform, lipstick was my favorite and preferred way to add a little finesse to my little black dress.
When Mindy Kaling said in her book, “Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched,” she might as well have attacked me personally. She was 100 percent correct there, and there have been days when I have been in my darkest but needed to be on display and my very best, and I relied on my lipstick application for a tiny serotonin burst and also, to convince the world I might have my shit together in the times that I absolutely was spiraling. Also, being a person with 500 lipsticks in her purse is great for those nights when you suddenly have dinner plans.
All of this is to say: Lipstick is awesome, and I’m glad that a day like National Lipstick Day exists — at times, it can be nice to think about the way we perform the art of beauty and how it brings us joy. Lipstick brings me endless amounts of joy, can feel therapeutic, and also… helps me look dope. I’m still searching for my perfect magenta, however — and yes, I’ll take suggestions.
Here are the lipsticks I would put on the Mount Rushmore of Lipstick:
DIOR DIOR ADDICT LIP TATTOO, $30 VIA SEPHORA. SHOP NOW