How to forget an ex-boyfriend when everything reminds us of him and everything recalls how happy we were together?

When it comes to feelings, it’s hard to be rational, and often we end up being at the mercy of what we feel, of memories, and of what keeps us attached to the past, making it difficult to move on and leave the pain behind.

Not only that.

Sometimes the pain also becomes a comfort zone, something that makes us feel protected and gives us an excuse not to get back on our feet.

However, it’s important to recognize these feelings and strive to regain serenity and happiness.

How to start again after the end of a relationship and say goodbye to the haunting past? How to move forward and be happy again?

This new breakup technique is particularly cruel and insidious

In short, how to forget an ex-boyfriend?

It takes time, of course, sometimes even a long time, but if you want to steer yourself in the right direction, you also need to commit and muster all the strength you have left.

How to Forget an Ex-Boyfriend

1. Make a list of what you hate about him

One of the secrets to forgetting an ex-boyfriend is to make a list where you put down on paper what you hate about him.

You need it to remind yourselves that you are on the right path: it doesn’t matter if he dumped you, you have plenty of reasons to leave him behind.

Write it in bold, stick it on the fridge, and repeat the points every morning. Keep a copy in your bag, too, in case you feel like sending him a melancholic message during the day.

You don’t need to think about the good things, remember that he hurt you, put what you feel for him in a box, and throw it at the bottom of a drawer.

2. Stop mentioning him

Mark how many times a day his name comes out of your mouth, or you hint at his presence with someone else, try to halve this number in a week, and then strive to completely erase his name from your conversations.

Not mentioning him will do you incredibly well.

It will be like making some of his power vanish, making him exist a little less, it will make you more in control of yourselves, and you will feel like taking back control of your happiness.

3. Try not to harbor resentment

Hatred is just another face of love, it still means feeling something that keeps you tied to him.

It’s not easy, but you should try not to hold it against him, not to feel resentment.

It’s the only way to start again after a breakup and to move forward peacefully on your path, without looking back.

Think that he’s the one losing out and the one who will regret his decision. You have no reason to be mad at him because soon you’ll be happier.

4. Resume a neglected project

Something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? A project in the drawer that you never had time to develop when you were with him?

A trip to organize that you’ve been thinking about for a long time, but he always postponed?

Now there’s nothing stopping you from dedicating time to it, take it out of the closet of unresolved things and give it the attention it deserves.

You will feel happy and will be proud of yourselves.

5. Try not to see everything in black

We know, forgetting an ex-boyfriend is not easy at all.

But the way you see things influences your life more than you can imagine, so if you see everything in black, you will remain stuck in a bubble of sadness and discomfort, and you will push away all the beautiful things that approach you like a vape does with mosquitoes.

Do you really want to reject happiness and carry your dark and heavy cloud with you?

Remember that the time you’re wasting complaining is only yours.

So, when the past torments you, don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourselves, instead set aside the tears and rebuild your life.

6. Fill Your agenda with commitments

Do, do, do lots of things.

Go to the cinema, to that exhibition you’ve been wanting to see for so long, a weekend away, a calligraphy course, a sports lesson, a picnic with your elementary school classmates, your niece’s recital.

Don’t say no to anything. Don’t stay at home, don’t stay alone. The important thing is to do things, not think about him, and avoid moments of melancholy, especially on weekends.

7. Think about the future

How to forget an ex-boyfriend? Simple, start thinking about your future.

Do it positively and start imagining it without him by your side.

However, this shouldn’t make you sad; on the contrary, it should make you feel free and in control of who you are and the millions of possibilities you have ahead.

The important thing is to stop looking back and crying over what’s no longer there.

8. Reclaim yourselves

Immediately after a breakup, your self-esteem plunges to levels that go underground, but slowly you have to strive to rebuild it, to bring it back to the levels of before, those that allow you to repaint a smile on your face and look at yourself in the mirror without feeling like crap or a complete failure.

Take all the time you need, but commit to getting back on track.

9. Vent through sports

You need to release negative energy. Of course, you could do it by ordering five gin and tonics on Friday night, but after a month you would need to be hospitalized in a center for recovering alcoholics.

So, if you need to get rid of negative energy without self-destructing, vent through sports.

No matter which one. Yoga, tennis, CrossFit, boxing… do something that allows you to turn off your brain and clear your mind.

10. Go out with someone

You probably don’t feel like it, but you should make an effort.

To forget a man, the old saying “out of sight, out of mind” really works.

Perhaps these dates will be disasters, but they will help you distract yourself, feel like you’re back in the game, and give you a bit of lightness.

So, get back old admirers, flirt with colleagues or with the guy at the gym who always gives you sweet looks, ask him out, dive in, try to shake things up, and you’ll see that beautiful things will happen and that this period will soon be just a distant memory.

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This article first appeared on Grazia.it – Author: Ilaria Perrone