For the generation that grew up with Disney Channel, Hilary Duff is like part of the family. The hit show Lizzie McGuire made her a strong presence in the lives of an entire generation, setting her up for an enduring career that keeps reaching new heights.
Born in 1987 in Texas, Duff moved to Los Angeles very early on to pursue a career in show business — a dream that she fulfilled at the tender age of 10. “I have already lived a rather adventurous life for a person my age,” she confesses. Indeed, at only 34, she boasts more than 35 roles in cinema and TV, more than 15 million copies of her five albums sold, a trilogy of best-selling novels, various successful entrepreneurial activities, and three wonderful children who are the greatest joy of her life: Luca, 10, who she had with ex-husband, ice hockey player Mike Comrie; Banks, 3, and Mae, 1, who she had with her current husband, musician and producer Matthew Koma, who she married in 2019.
“When I’m on the set I miss them so much. I can’t stay away from them!” she says. “I take my kids with me on set when I can but on my last job I could never take any of them because of Covid restrictions.” The job in question is the How I Met Your Father series, which debuted on Disney+ this year. In the series, Sophie (Kim Cattrall in the future version, Duff in the present version), tells her son the story of how she met his father and the adventures with friends along the way.
GRAZIA: What are the similarities and differences between you and Sophie, the character you play in How I Met Your Father?
HILARY DUFF: The most obvious difference is the moment of life we are in. I have three children, a family, a career, responsibilities that she does not yet have. Personality-wise she has the classic New York spirit: sociable and always ready to party. I am sociable too, but I love being at home and I like going out with my inner circle, people who really know me. I’m not the most outgoing woman in the world and I believe Sophie is. We are both volcanoes of ideas though. My husband sometimes wakes up at 6:30 in the morning and by that time I have already moved half of the furniture in the house.
G: Sophie is not very lucky with dating, have you ever had a really terrible first date?
HD: Once, when I was much younger, I went out with a guy and at the end of the date he told me that it was an experiment, because he always felt intimidated by me and for a film he was working on, he had to play the role of a man intimidated by his woman. That was the reason why he went out with me.
G: On the show How I Met Your Father, we see an adult Sophie telling her son the story of how she met his father. How do you relate to that?
HD: I can tell the story to my eldest son, Luca. Because he is 10 years old, he is ready compared to his sisters to listen to those stories and to understand them. I had Luca with my ex-husband and we talk about it often. I like to tell him about how I met his father, about the good times we spent together, about the greatest joy when I found out I was pregnant and how his father and I coped with pregnancy. It is a very sweet thing. As adults we forget how nice it was to hear our parents’ stories when we were children.
G: And among the stories you told Luca, which one struck him the most?
HD: My sister Haylie and I lived with our mother in a big complex as children. There were all child actors, and it was a gated community so we all knew each other. It was a very safe place and my sister and I were the leaders of the group. The security always scolded us for making noises and the neighbors complained all the time. So, one day my sister and I hid in the bushes, waited for the attendant to leave the office and covered his golf cart with tampons. When he came back, he pulled them off one by one and we laughed out loud behind the bushes. When I told this story to Luca, he was in disbelief.
G: Does Luca like hearing these stories?
HD: He’s at the age where he no longer wants me to read him stories before bed, he wants to know anecdotes, funny things I did at his age, the times I got in trouble, when I started shooting Lizzie McGuire at a very young age. He is a very curious child. He’s at home with us every other day, so I can’t tell him every night but twice a week on average.
G: And what will you tell your daughters about your current husband?
HD: That he asked me to marry him in a very sweet way: with an illustrated book that represented our story. We broke up several times before having our daughter Banks and the on and off translated into drawings is hilarious.
Tiffany HardWear earrings and bracelet in yellow gold, Tiffany & Co., Tiffany.com.
G: You started your career very young. Did you ever feel like giving it up?
HD: Sure, and I did. Around 18 I gave up everything. I had just finished a tour. I was in Europe, and after the last concert, I said, “Enough.”
G: Why?
HD: I didn’t know how to cook or start a washing machine. I didn’t even know what I liked and what I didn’t. I didn’t plan my day and I was never on my own. I had a fabulous career but I was no longer satisfied. My friends did normal things for that age, but I lived in a bubble and felt terrible. Not to mention the pressure I felt: I had about 200 people working for me on tours. I was responsible for their salaries. It was too much. I had to pull the plug to understand who I was, what I really wanted, and to learn to live alone.
G: Then?
HD: And then I stopped for longer than I thought. For two years I did nothing, then I met my first husband and later we had Luca and I focused on learning to be a mother. Taking that break helped me become the humble woman I am today. I don’t think I would have kept my feet as firmly on the ground as I do today if I hadn’t taken that break then.
G: What kind of child were you?
HD: I was a tomboy. I liked climbing trees, being outdoors. I was reckless, but I never went out without makeup. At the age of three, my mother used to tell me, “You wear lipstick better than me, but you can climb higher than any boy.” I was very athletic. I enjoyed swimming, gymnastics, cycling. Before moving to Los Angeles, we lived in a small hill town. There wasn’t much to do, so I spent my day outdoors. And I loved to dance, to perform. I would say I was a good mix. Unlike my sister, who was very feminine, I wanted to be faster than the others.
G: Then what kind of mother did you become?
HD: I am very involved in my children’s lives. I am present. I like to play with them and listen to them. Don’t get me wrong; I’m also the one who imposes discipline in the house. It’s all fun and games until they cross certain limits.
G: Such as?
HD: Luca is a very good child. The only thing that infuriates me about him is how forgetful he can be. Every day I remind him to take his iPad, the books for school. I make him a packed lunch. I remind him to brush his teeth and put on his shoes. It is a daily routine. I have always done these things for him every day, I have taught him, and he regularly forgets something. Often, I get a phone call from school informing me that Luca has forgotten his lunch. Mae is still too young, but my second daughter Banks will definitely give me a hard time. She is tough. Nothing really bothers her.
G: For your last two girls, you chose a water birth at home. What made you choose that?
HD: A friend of mine had decided to give birth at home, and as soon as she told me, I was speechless. I didn’t think it was doable. With Luca, I had the classic natural birth in the hospital with all the necessary medicines. I waited many years before I had Banks. I had her at 31 and I like to challenge myself, face something that scares me. So, I started doing research, watching documentaries. Childbirth is a different experience for every woman and I wanted to try this practice. Supported by my husband, I did it and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.
G: Tell me about it.
HD: It is obviously difficult and in some moments uncomfortable, but the aftermath is wonderful: being in your home surrounded by family, with the other children ready to welcome the newborn. When I had Mae, in the middle of the pandemic, I had no intention of going near a hospital anyway.
G: And both of your children witnessed Mae’s birth?
HD: They were supposed to, but Mae got out so fast they managed to get in when their little sister was already in my arms. It was a very sweet moment. Luca then came to sit next to me and Mae and said, “Mom, we should sing happy birthday to her. It’s her birthday.”
G: What is the thing you most like to do with your children?
HD: I like sitting in the backyard with them, watching them play, and become what they are becoming, listening to their stories, the things that interest them. And, it may sound strange to you, but I love being in the car with them.
G: Why?
HD: Because, if we don’t listen to music, they start talking to each other and sometimes very interesting topics come up. Banks creates incredible stories. The protagonists are always unicorns and school friends – she is three years old after all – but the plots she creates are crazy. Luca also talks about school. The last story he told me was about this child who has a crush on his girlfriend. Through another schoolmate, he sent her a note in which he asked her to break up with Luca and he made such a drama out of it. Imagine that once, when he was 9 years old, I took him to a football match and some little girls approached him. Luca asked me to stay where I was and not to follow him. He didn’t want to be seen with me in front of the girls. I can’t believe I’m already in that phase.
G: Are there things you haven’t done that you would have wanted or still want to do?
HD: Professionally, yes. I’m writing and sometimes I go to the recording studio, but I don’t know if it will be an album, an EP, or a song; but the idea excites me. And the thing I would like to do more than any other is to travel and take my family all over the world. I know that my career has allowed me to visit many destinations, but while working I have never really been able to enjoy the experience of discovering a place and I would like to do so. I would like to spend some time in Spain, Italy, go back to Africa.
G: What do you wish for the future?
HD: I hope to be even more confident. I’m in a moment in my life where I think I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Now I have more awareness than when I was younger. The family I have created with my husband gives me the confidence that I did not have before. I hope to have more and more.
G: Do any of your children want to follow in your footsteps?
HD: Luca is obsessed with Marvel. He is very creative; he likes to draw. I would not be surprised if he pursued a career in animation. Banks will be a singer, for sure. She is a born performer. She always wants to be the center of attention. Mae is too young, she is in that phase of “Let me eat and sleep and that is fine with me.”
