Ariana Grande
Ariana Grande (Photo: Valerie Macon/AFP via Getty Images)

On Monday, April 17, TMZ broke the news that Ariana Grande and fiancé Dalton Gomez had tied the knot over the weekend at her home in Montecito, California. The pop star’s rep later confirmed the report to People magazine. “It was tiny and intimate — less than 20 people,” Grande said. “The room was so happy and full of love. The couple and both families couldn’t be happier.”

The couple have been together since January 2020, and announced their engagement this past December, when Grande posted a photo of her ring on Instagram. Still, the news of their nuptials came as a surprise to fans and media alike. So, for reaction to this breaking story, I turned to the foremost Ariana Grande expert in my life: my friend “Clyde,” a 37-year-old architectural consultant and Ariana super fan.

GRAZIA: When did you find out that Ariana Grande had gotten married?
CLYDE: I found out when you told me this morning. That’s when I found out about Ariana Grande getting married.

Were you upset that you had to hear it from me?
No! It’s funny just ‘cause, like, the amount that I heard about Pete Davidson and, like, the engagement process to Pete Davidson. And then this guy—who I guess she’s been quarantining with for months, if not more than that—it was just like, ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am! We are affianced! No, we’re not even affianced. We’re married!’

Apparently, they’ve been affianced since December.
Which I also missed. So, I guess I’m just not up to speed on my Ariana Grande news anymore.

Do you follow the news of her career and life?
I mean, enough. I know when she’s on tour. Whenever there’s clickbait about Ariana Grande, I’m very interested in it. But I don’t know what’s going on with my feed, because none of this showed up. Which is, like, deeply traumatic. And then I had to go and find out who this Gomez man is. He’s 24. He’s a baby.

I think he’s 25. But ok, so what is your understanding of who Dalton Gomez is?
So, I did a little bit of stalking on the internet so I could understand a little bit more about his character and such. I know that he works at a real estate firm, and I know that he has a vast amount of experience, to quote his bio. And he’s been working there for five years, so I’m assuming he didn’t go to college. Or maybe he did, I don’t know. Did Ariana Grande go to college? Did Pete Davidson go to college?

What I did find really interesting and kind of shocking was that he repped a whole bunch of houses in L.A. that are from what is called a “case study series.” So, I want to say in the 1950s or 60s, all of these modern architects were building case study houses, which were effectively just sort of studies in modern architecture. They were building small, cheap modern houses. And they’re now really prestigious and they’re worth a lot of money. And so it seems like that’s his niche, based on his bio. So, he’s selling those houses by, like, Craig Ellwood or Richard Neutra, who are both like really, really famous architects, especially on the West Coast —  like, that’s his thing. And I was just expecting him to be such a D-bag, and I was like, ‘Oh! Well, I guess he’s got some level of taste!’

I mean, this is, like, a shockingly perfect convergence of your interests.
Ariana Grande and modern architecture! Finally! So, what I don’t understand — and if I read more about it, I would probably understand — but, like, was he selling her a house? How did they actually meet? But if you look up any of the Craig Ellwood or Neutra buildings that he’s sold, they’re beautiful. Like, if you’re into modern architecture at all, they’re stunning. It’s not my style, but it’s just, like, quintessential L.A. architecture.

Why did you think he’d be a D-bag?
I don’t know. That’s not fair, because Pete Davidson isn’t a D-bag. But brokers in general are D-bags. They are just awful. Failed actors. That genre. When I saw that she’d married a broker, I was like, ‘This is not gonna end well.’ But I don’t know. Maybe he’s a different kind of broker.

Did you think she was likely to marry a D-bag? What’s your sense of her romantic track record?
Do we have time to listen to “Thank You, Next” together?

Do you think the marriage will last?
Realistically, I can’t imagine this lasting more than a few years. She’s too young. And he’s a broker.

Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande
Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande (Photo: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)

Do you think he has BDE?
No. Not at all. I thought he had gay-face. Ariana, maybe you’re barking up the wrong tree here…

So, why are you so into her?
Why does the earth revolve around the sun? I don’t know, I just love her music.

I’ve known you a long time and you’re not somebody who gets fanatical about anything, really. So, how would you characterize your fandom?
Like a child. Like the way that a teeny-bopper is obsessed with — and I don’t know a lot about her, but I am content to listen to her music —I  was content to listen to “Into You” on repeat for days on end. The last job I had, because I listened to Ariana Grande all the time at work and it was, like, blaring out of my headphones, so people would notice it. And someone gave me an Ariana Grande T-shirt.

I’ve always found her a little…off putting. This might be shamefully reductive, but I think it’s because her whole pouty, high ponytail, oversized sweatshirts with the sleeves over her hands reminds me of Cristin Milioti’s sexy baby character from 30 Rock.
[Laughs] Yeah, I can see that. Maybe me liking Ariana Grande is just a symptom of being, like, misogynistic in that I like women to be, like, pouty and stupid.

I don’t think she is stupid though!
Yeah, I think a lot of people in that business cannot be stupid. They put their lives in the world of handlers and that is enough to launch them into an entirely different level of accomplishment and wealth.

I think I’m more reacting to her aesthetic.
Yeah, I don’t know. I just think she’s, like, the bee’s knees.

Editor’s note: At this point, Clyde just started forwarding photos of Case Study Houses and so we had to end the interview.

thoughts?