Do you often find yourself asking, “Why can’t I find love?” while wrong stories unfold, making you lose hope and the desire to get back in the game?
It could be bad luck, sure, but it could also be your fault.
Stop.
You lack nothing.
**7 Mistakes that Prevent You from Finding Love**
The error we are talking about is one of selection and choice.
Ask yourself: is it possible that my stories always end because I choose the wrong people?
Or, even: do I attract the wrong men/women, or is it me selecting the ones who are not right among all those in front of me?
If your dark knights are all the same type and inevitably break your heart after a few months, perhaps you’ve ended up in a loop of wrong stories where you think you don’t deserve anything better.
Well, we’ll tell you why you should stop making excuses to throw yourself into the arms of the wrong person and how to throw out the preconceptions that don’t allow you to be happy.
**Love Horoscope: These 6 Signs Will Find Their Soulmate in 2024**
We have identified the ten main attitudes responsible for unhappiness in love – those that depend on us personally.
Read them, recognize which ones belong to you, and consciously decide to change.
Stay away from what will never make you happy, and sooner than you think, you’ll find someone who can.
Why Can’t I Find Love? The 10 Most Common Mistakes
1. You keep on falling for the same type
It seems like you don’t want to learn from mistakes: once a wrong story ends, you start looking for exactly the same type of person. With small variations, the cycle repeats itself without evolution. Break this chain; insisting won’t turn it into something it’s not – you’ll only continue to hurt yourself.
2. You play too many games
Tormented, hypersensitive, selfish people are not special; the theory of “he/she is different” should have died after high school. Every person is special, and we have all overcome more or less difficult moments in life. Using pain and torment to attract someone, or playing the bad guy for more charm, is just insecurity. You might fall in love, but consider that often the simplest things make you happier. Love yourself.
3. You are in a toxic cycle
The problem is that you’ve become addicted to love drama. You don’t respond to those who court you normally, and you have a radar for problems. Finding a healthy and normal relationship isn’t easy, and if you contribute to the difficulty, it becomes even harder.
4. You keep justifying wrong behaviors
“He/she says they don’t love me, but in reality…” It doesn’t matter if they seem kind and tormented, or if they’ve told you childhood stories of stolen snacks at the youth center. If they treat you badly and make you feel bad, they’re not the person for you. Don’t defend them with blinders on in front of friends and family; you’ll only get into trouble.
5. You become their nurse/mom
The other person is unwell, suffering, and you’ve decided to be their savior, their light, their beacon in the night, the angel of their dark nights. However, trying to save them won’t make you more special, and it won’t bind them more to you. Love based on dependence isn’t healthy.
6. You romanticize & hold on to the impossible
“I love you, you love me, but we can’t be together, so let’s suffer together and write four-page emails listing why we’re suffering.” Don’t become dependent on these love longings; you’re not in a 1800s novel, and you shouldn’t want to be romantic heroes consuming letter paper with tears.
7. You have attachment issues
Certainties don’t kill romance; knowing that someone is for you and will always be there doesn’t mean entering a routine. Do you really want never to be sure they’ll reply? Not knowing where they are and with whom? If you think this feeling of precariousness makes you feel alive and in love, maybe you haven’t yet understood what love is. Before asking, “Why can’t I find love?” ask yourself what it is.
8. You can’t face your own problems
You’ll never find happiness if you’re looking for someone to share your same problems. First, try to look inward, face your pain sincerely, and make room for good and healthy things. Only then can you welcome someone who will make you happy.
9. You aren’t actually open to fall in love with someone
Using the excuse of “I’m too special, I can’t find anyone worthy of me” won’t get you anywhere. Stop thinking that a quiet and serene story isn’t for you and that it’s a symptom of boring and bourgeois normality. People meet, choose each other, and recognize each other. You don’t always have to choose a self-destructive mode; you don’t deserve it a priori, and it doesn’t make you special.
Rather than asking “Why can’t I find love?” you should perhaps ask yourself “Is what I am looking for really love?”
It’s not fun to date a ticking bomb, especially if what you’re looking for isn’t a one-night adventure but a relationship. Give up the search for adrenaline and butterflies at all costs and focus on what you really want in the medium to long term. If it’s someone to binge-watch Netflix with, don’t pretend to want to go to the club every night just to please someone else. Be honest with yourself.
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