PORCELAINNE
n. [someone with a love of garden whimsy, historical ceramics and digital currency.]
Despite having always had hillside dreams, this modern potterer’s jungle is still relatively urban. She resides in a habitat where throw cushions are outnumbered only by art books and her family of indoor Monsteras all have human names. Walls are decorated with renaissance paintings and she’s the owner of many jars of dried spices. Most notable, however, is her collection of salvaged Lladro. After inheriting one some years ago, she quickly developed an obsession for sourcing these porcelain figurines. You may notice the appreciation has spilled into her own personal decor, with Toile du Jouy in various grades a regular feature of her appearance. She carries with her a large Dior Book Tote, which can be heard jangling as she passes, full to its leather handles with the latest of her ornate acquisitions. Flea market stall holders from all corners of the globe (and internet)know her now and today, at the annual Countryside Devonshire Tea and Jumble Sale, she picked up a rare Haute Allure Woman for just $20. She knows it’s worth more than $5000 and stocks are on the rise. If you talk to her she might even convince you that buying into peculiar bric-a-brac is the alternate-Crypto. Additionally, with her day job as a digital futurist she has been able to blend her two passions and is currently developing a range of unique nostalgic porcelain NFT’s.
COREFORMER
n [a fashion purveyor one step ahead of the ironic trend movement.]
She is something of a chameleon of the fashion world, able to slip seamlessly from one core trend to another. A member of the original Normcore pack back in 2013, she has since enjoyed all the urban cosplay that has unfolded over the years. If you’re able to spot her, you may notice she is currently emerged in a look that blends embellished 90s street-core with the utility-inspired Gorpcore. She holds a Coach Field Tote 40 tote, a chic, hardy carry-all that most recently assisted her on a very on-brand trip to Disney World. Igniting her love for a burgeoning Merchcore, she spent hours in the fantasy land’s gift shops, stocking up on licensed t-shirts and other wearable souvenirs. So now you might see her sporting her new Sebastian the crab tank top or pair of Cinderella sneakers or the oversized Elsa rain jacket she plans to wear as a kind of sheer trench coat. Later this year she plans to visit unexpected capital cities around the world snapping up locally-made destination t-shirts to wear with her latest seasonal high fashion. Using her well-honed Core-trend instinct she believes that after two years of worldwide lockdowns an ironic Travelcore movement must be next on the list.
PRINTSFLUENCER
n. [a person with a unique ability to predict prints of the future.]
Twice a year this fascinating nomad returns home in an appearance that will forecast our coming season. She travels the world to secret locations, meeting with secret people to discuss, in secret, the looks of our near-future. Having always been one step ahead, this particularly intuitive decorator is an expert in print redux. Last year she caused a stir when she returned home in vintage vacation florals, and the year before she was the cause of the polka dot revival. This year, however, she has returned from Paris with her covetable Dior Book Tote full of the design house’s iconic memorabilia and a houndstooth ensemble that is set to cause sartorial alarm. Designed of course by Dior creative director Maria Grazia Chiuri, the look is based upon Monsieur Christian Dior’s own trailblazing use of the black and white print in 1948. Upon spotting her you may find you are instantly, even powerlessly, convinced to range the print yourself. Urged to bask head-to-toe in a classic weave and carry with you the same chic carry-all. You might even feel compelled to vacuum seal your polka dots making space for your coming houndstooth future.
AROMANTIC
n. [a scent-specialist with an insatiable devotion to small amber bottles.]
When you first notice this elegant ingenue, you may be distracted by her chic, leather Bally tote. Its volume, studded border and pocket detail are the perfect decoys for a gatherer of the most mysterious variety. Travelling to the world’s most fashionable locations, she has developed a reputation as a nomadic apothecary, gathering endless bottles of niche-scented potions to add to her vast collection. It all began with a singular Diptyque candle given to her when she was barely a teenager, one she burned until the very end then kept as a kind of high-style relic. Before long she began searching indie Parisian boutiques for the most unusual, most intoxicating new candles and fragrances. She became an expert on locally made Eau de Parfums, romanced by rich ingredients like fig, tea leaf, even the sap of a fallen pine tree. Now, every surface of her home is covered in bottles of aromatic potions. Like a 16th Century medic, she can scour her shelves for the perfect note with an otherworldly ability. She has a drop for every occasion, any mood. She protects her collection with fierce resistance, and is said to be crafting her own secret recipe. One that won’t be afraid to invite the most pungent of components, it is rumoured to have captured ‘umami’ in atmospheric form using the notes of a dried edamame.
BOTANISTA
n. [a plant and art purist with deep respect for original language and original prints.]
If you’re fortunate enough to meet this flora-focused collector, be sure not to speak about her choice of botanical decoration using its pedestrian name. As a purist dedicated to Latin labelling and the anatomically correct documenting of the natural world, she references plant life only with their full and original phonetics. She is a long term collector of botanical art prints and their influence has seen her become increasingly interested in locating more and more unusual works. Today she returns from Brazil where she met with an artist known for his watercolours of rare mushrooms growing in cultivated fungariums. While there, she also collected a book of original paintings by a fern (or Tracheophyta) enthusiast outside of Santarem and a poster-sized illustration of technically drawn nightshade vegetables (or Solanaceae) by a local stall owner. Always dressed in resplendent broderie anglaise with various printed flora, she carries with her an exquisite Ferragamo raffia and leather tote to house her delicate souvenirs. She plans to one day start her dream venture, a not-for-profit botanical art school that raises money for endangered mushrooms and rare plant species of the Amazon. Open Back Dress,
GLASTOPHELIAN
n. [a former festival reveller with a lingering devotion to Wellies and Live From… vinyls.]
You may first notice her boots. Hardy, rubbery knee-highs designed as a chic mutation of the kind she wore in her past life. The life she spent in ankle-deep mud and free-spirit garb, basking in the glow of the main stage and raising her arms with God-like praise for PJ Harvey and Nick Cave. You may also note the tactility of her chosen wares. Rich, velveteen finishes that ignite a frisson to the fingertips and a kind of baroque decadence to her overall appearance. She carries with her the spectacular Loewe ‘Flamenco’ tote, that today is heavy with not only the burden of realising she may never again experience the earthly Nirvana that was Glastonbury 2004, but with a ream of records from her vintage store foraging. She keeps ticket stubs and old polaroids with her at all times and is known to lament the melancholic changes to festival life since the invention of Instagram. She also carries a well-thumbed copy of Hamlet, enamoured by the story of its destitute heroine. If you get to know her perhaps she’ll show you the collection of Woodstock memorabilia she had passed down from a Great Uncle who was either a Beatles roadie or the festival hot dog vendor. No one can seem to remember. Most recently, however, she can be found with pen and paper, jotting down notes for her first spoken word poetry album “Justice For Ophelia”.
BOTANISTA
n. [a plant and art purist with deep respect for original language and original prints.]
If you’re fortunate enough to meet this flora-focused collector, be sure not to speak about her choice of botanical decoration using its pedestrian name. As a purist dedicated to Latin labelling and the anatomically correct documenting of the natural world, she references plant life only with their full and original phonetics. She is a long term collector of botanical art prints and their influence has seen her become increasingly interested in locating more and more unusual works. Today she returns from Brazil where she met with an artist known for his watercolours of rare mushrooms growing in cultivated fungariums. While there, she also collected a book of original paintings by a fern (or Tracheophyta) enthusiast outside of Santarem and a poster-sized illustration of technically drawn nightshade vegetables (or Solanaceae) by a local stall owner. Always dressed in resplendent broderie anglaise with various printed flora, she carries with her an exquisite Ferragamo raffia and leather tote to house her delicate souvenirs. She plans to one day start her dream venture, a not-for-profit botanical art school that raises money for endangered mushrooms and rare plant species of the Amazon.
BUYER’S AVENGER
n. [a city visitor plagued by remorse for the souvenir that got away.]
If you have spotted this romantically dressed collector, you would have noticed she spends a lot of her time perusing Venetian laneways. You may also notice she occasionally looks manic, possessed even. Careening down one cobblestone alley then another she can be seen peering through shop windows, desperately caressing the wares of various stalls. It’s been said that her insatiable scouring is the result of a bad case of buyer’s remorse. When she first visited the city of canals, some ten years ago, she fell in love with a particular string of iridescent cerulean blue beads made from exquisite Murano glass. Short like a choker, the necklace was perfectly imperfect, crafted by a local glass blower called Lorenzo. Apparently she told him she would return the next day to buy it, but when she did she became confused by the maze of identical, unnamed streets and the necklace was lost forever. Now, she returns every summer, drifting past the harlequin stores and Commedia puppetry in the hope of finding Lorenzo. Dressed in kaleidoscopic prints she carries her elegant Moynat ‘Oh!’ monogram tote, collecting glass souvenirs of equal beauty. She resolves to one day find the necklace, certain she will. But, for now, she is convinced that Venice isn’t quite ready for her to stop looking.
RABBITFOOTER
n. [a person with a fashion-forward superstition complex.]
Though from the outside this well-dressed city-dweller would appear to exist only in the most orderly of forms, she is, in fact, a person spellbound by a daily duty to engage in good luck. What began as a fortunate clover kept in her wallet until its disintegration has since turned into a habit for travelling the world acquiring any and all wishful collectables. If you see her, you may notice she steps with her right foot first and has an unfaltering dedication to avoiding all footpath cracks. She can often be found reading books about historical luck spells but has, as yet, been too superstitious to actually try one. She is most commonly seen dressed in splendid black ensembles with feather trims, likely attributed to the time she fell from a first story window only to land on an inexplicably lucky delivery of black feathered cushions. She carries with her the Saint Laurent ‘Noe’ canvas tote at all times, its luxurious interior roomy enough to house her unusual essentials as well as each and every wishbone stick she feels compelled to pick up. She considers herself something of an advanced superstitioner these days, having moved away from layman ideals like spilled salt and into why tangible luck is good for the soul. She is also the award-winning host of the wish-themed self-help Podcast Aladdin Was Onto Something.
GAMECHANGER
n. [a determined business investor and undefeated UNO champion.]
If you watch closely this sharp-suited thinker stops often to take messages with urgency. As CEO of a billion dollar board game empire, she travels the world meeting with game-maker hopefuls. Having recently passed on Wordle, she’s on a mission to recalibrate her intuition and create the next big thing. When you see her you might note her penchant for chic, graphic repeat patterns in shades of Monopoly green. You’ll probably ogle her Loewe tote, knowing it’s likely to contain top-secret ideas as well as an undefeated pack of UNO she keeps with her at all times. Having grown up in a competitive household that had little access to internet, she quickly discovered the satisfaction that came from gaining a triple-word-score over her older brother. By the time she was 10 she could beat her father in chess and had written to Hasbro about the outdated discourse in Cluedo. She now owns a significant collection of vintage classics, including a rare original 1963 Mouse Trap which is part of her retirement plan. Today, however, she returns home with a unique copy of Boggle bought from a former game champion in New Zealand. It’s rumoured she wants to turn it into a live app, one that will challenge the brain, the battery-life and the limitations of its five-letter-game competitor.
BARNORIALIST
n. [a person happy to search for the needle in the haystack if it’s vintage.]
After once becoming lost in a vortex of YouTube clips showing people discovering vintage motor vehicles in old barns across the United States, this keen-eyed forager immediately booked a trip to the most remote midwest town she could Google. Though less inclined to excite over rusty old engines this trash-or-treasure archaeologist is now most often seen travelling far and wide, digging through discarded ranches for quirky, bygone Americana decor. She’s forever on the hunt for chinzy pieces, restorable furniture and farmyard knick knacks, preparing herself by dressing in a host of chic utility wares. Lately, she has chosen new season boiler suits, heavy-tread hiking boots, raw brimmed hats and, most importantly, her signature leather Elisabetta Franchi collector tote. She keeps poised as she retrieves antique license plates out of milking sheds, eagle-encrusted crockery from leather trunks and map-happy wall prints from, well, everywhere and she is known to happily battle wild terrain or hostile livestock for the sake of a good barn tip-off. And while she keeps rare pieces for her own restoration collection, she sells many via her unboxing-for-adults Tiktok account The Haystack Hacker.
This essay is published in the third edition of GRAZIA Middle East. Click here to discover more from THE JOURNEY.
