Kate Moss at The Ritz, Paris. Image credit: Tim Walker

I think about this a lot: Miranda admits on an episode of Sex and the City that her “secret single behaviour” is slathering her hands with vaseline, popping on a pair of cotton gloves and bingeing infomercials. To me, this is a regular Tuesday night no matter who is in the house, but I respect her commitment to soft, hydrated hands regardless. Right now, we’re spending ample time at home and chances are, any formalities pertaining to the people you’re isolating with are dead and buried. To me, this is the perfect time to trial some weird and wonderful beauty tricks (if you feel so inclined). Rubber face moulds, milk-saturated exfoliation booties, butt masks: nothing is off the table. Below, you’ll find an edit of some fun ones, but also those that will benefit your skin, hair and pelvic floor. If nothing else, they’ll provide some laughs on your next family Zoom call.

Aceology Cheeky Butt Mask, $49 for three. SHOP NOW

With all that extra time being spent on your derrière, you may as well give it a little love. Aceology’s Butt Mask exists to “better your booty”, and doesn’t it ever. Loaded with firming and softening ingredients like centella, green tea, liquorice, hyaluronic acid and allantoin, you can expect skin that’s as smooth as… a baby’s butt. Just apply and lie down, rear end facing upwards. There’s never been a better time to try a treatment for your toosh.

Milky Foot Exfoliating Food pad, $32. SHOP NOW

Viral internet sensation Milky Foot is about as weird and wonderful as beauty treatments get. It’s basically a plastic sock full of fermented milk liquids that slough off all the dry skin. But the catch is that the skin more or less peels off in chunks for weeks to come – not ideal for sandal season, but quarantine timing feels apt. Gross, but the payoff is worth it.

Omorovicza Silver Skin Saviour, $135. SHOP NOW

Colloidal silver is one of those old school tinctures likely found in your grandparents medicine cabinet, but low and behold, it’s a fantastic acne treatment. Hungarian skincare brand Omorovicza have paired it with niacinamide for a mask that’s both calming and antibacterial. The look is Tin Man meets C-3PO, but all is fair in the quest for good skin.

Patchology Perfect Ten Self-Warming Hand and Cuticle MAsk, $16. SHOP NOW

If you’re missing that weekly manicure or the cold snap has done a number on your cuticles, these mittens will help. Using the same insulation system as space blankets, they cocoon hands in a velvety mix of shea butter, rosehip and macadamia oil. Do it while you watch Master Chef.

Skyn Iceland Arctic Hydration Rubberizing Mask, $48. SHOP NOW

This mask is the texture of Aeroplane Jelly – rubbery, cool and thick. The concept is that once the gel is applied to the face, it sets to create an airtight barrier so ingredients are forced into the skin. The cooling effect will help to de-puff, too.

Sephora Coconut Hair Sleeping Mask, $7. SHOP NOW

You can’t commute or attend a board room meeting with a thick hair mask and plastic cap on, but you can WFH in it. While it is designed for sleep, wear it during the day to avoid sheet staining mishaps. Coconut will nourish the hair, and leave it smelling like a tropical vacation.

Lelo Beads Noir, $59. SHOP NOW

Fact: there’s never been a better time to work on your kegels. Whether you’re quarantine with a romantic partner or just hoping to strengthen your pelvic floor for future endeavours, there’s no one to stop you wearing them while you email from the kitchen bench (and no fear of them falling out on the bus).

thoughts?