To understand why we fear falling in love, we need to take a step back and ask ourselves: what is love?
A precise definition of love does not exist in scientific or literary fields.
Some might cynically define it as a mix of chemicals released in our brain—and body!—when we feel a particular connection with someone.
Romantics, on the other hand, speak of sensations and the intersection of destinies.
In any case, love involves everyone. Even the coldest individuals have stumbled upon it and then decided what to do with it.
Some people, due to experience or, conversely, total inexperience, fear falling in love.
Handling this topic carefully is essential, as is keeping in mind its complexity. However, we will try to approach the reasons why people fear falling in love.
3 Psychological Reasons Why People Fear Falling in Love
1. If You Fear Love, You Fear Yourself
It’s a bitter truth, but someone has to say it.
If you fear falling in love, you fear diving into something you think you can’t manage.
The fear comes from the idea that love, in some way, involves losing control.
Butterflies in the stomach, performance anxiety, and adrenaline are all intense feelings that seem to slip through our fingers, which can be very challenging.
2. The Fear of Falling in Love is Linked to the Fear of Not Knowing How to Love
Some people are convinced they don’t know how to love.
They search for signs and clues online about the definition of love, its symptoms, and what should happen.
While seeking external confirmation, they lose touch with themselves and their own thoughts, ending up searching outside for what should come from within.
As if there were a universal way and definition.
Spoiler: No, they do not exist.
3. Those Who Approach Love Know They Must Expose Themselves
Another issue with falling in love is exposure.
We fear it because we expose ourselves to possible disappointments or suffering, and some people think they cannot tolerate them.
In the initial stages, everyone presents their best self, but as time goes on, you’ll come to know the rest, and it will be time to understand if you are compatible.
It is said that you can truly love only when you learn to love yourself. By doing so, you’ll allow the other person to be there or not, and in turn, you can evaluate if they are right for you with awareness and sincerity.
If I love myself, I will know who is right for me, what I can accept, and what I cannot tolerate.
Finally, I will also know what I deserve, and this might actually make things work.
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This article first appeared on Grazia.it – Author: Elisa Castellano
