Words by Claudia Catalli, Photography by Yu Tsai, Styling by Oretta Corbelli
“Life is too short to be unhappy. As women, we are free to be whoever we want, at every age.” Andie MacDowell is an explosion of energy. She arrives for our interview with her curly mane of silver hair, which has become both a symbol of natural beauty and an invitation to embrace it. She wears only a faint touch of makeup. She asks me if we can move toward the window, where sunlight streaks across her face. “We should always look for light and let it shine on the woman next to us, because we’re not getting anywhere on our own, but together, we are unbeatable,” she says with the charisma that has won over generations, from the time of the cult movies Sex, Lies, and Videotape, Four Weddings and a Funeral, and Groundhog Day. Her latest cinematic appearance is in A Sudden Case of Christmas, directed by Peter Chelsom, in which she plays a grandmother who asserts her right to personal pleasure and freedom by ending a marriage she no longer finds satisfying. “You can’t feel invisible and stay with someone just so you’re not alone,” the actress maintains. She would know, having divorced model Paul Qualley in 1999 and jeweler Rhett Hartzog in 2004; today, at 66 and after much introspection, she tells GRAZIA that she has finally learned to love herself.
Let’s start with women’s desire. Why is that story so rarely told in movies?
I think women in general are not well understood. Just look at what’s happening in the United States. I don’t think men today really try to understand women, and that’s why it’s important for us to at least understand each other, to act like a team, to be allies and friends at a time when we’re losing power globally.
Was it difficult for you to achieve success at a time when movies were dominated by men?
My darkest hour came when I turned 40. Men controlled everything, and I was afraid to express myself, because I knew I was in their world. As women, we weren’t really able to stand up for ourselves back then. Campaigns such as the Me Too movement were still unimaginable.
Times have changed.
Over the last 25 years, times have changed dramatically. Today we can speak freely about our experiences and there are many men fighting by our side. Me Too served a real purpose: I’ve seen more women on set, we are more involved and there are more roles available to us. Before, if we wanted to work we didn’t have a choice but to keep our mouths shut and try to do the right thing; men were in charge. Now, men are still in power, but as women, we need to drop out of the old game and fight for each other’s success.
Across generations.
Exactly, young women need to stand up for older women and vice versa. The other day I told a colleague, “When you see a woman who’s older than you are on set and you realize she’s not being treated right, stand up for her, because tomorrow that woman will be you. We need to fight together for the present and for the future of new generations of women.
We’re still a long way from women earning as much as men at work.
Unfortunately, and there’s no justification for that. It’s illogical and it’s not right that we are less valued because we were born women.
But is it true that for Four Weddings and a Funeral, Hugh Grant was paid less than you were?
I would hope so. At the time, I was more famous than he was. Audiences didn’t really know him, and my agent fought hard to get me a fair contract. My understanding is that Grant didn’t receive the “backend” [Editor’s note: a percentage of profits paid after a film’s distribution and production expenses], whereas I did, thanks to my agent. With that being said, between then and now he has made far more money than I ever did and ever will. I don’t think he has anything to complain about.
Did you find it difficult to balance your career and your personal life?
I was very careful to protect my personal life. I wanted to raise my kids away from the public eye. I didn’t want my career to set the tone at home, or for my kids’ lives to be solely governed by my needs. Their needs were important. Most of all, I didn’t want them to be child stars; they could decide what they wanted to do when they were older. [Editor’s note: MacDowell’s three children are Justin, 38; Rainey, 35; and Margaret, 30].
Your daughter, Margaret, has followed in your footsteps. You appeared together in the Netflix miniseries Maid, in which you played her mother. How was that?
I was so happy not only to be on set with her, but to be able to spend time with her. She leads a very busy life and to finally have some time just the two of us, away from everything, was a gift. Knowing each other so well allowed us to express ourselves on the set in a believable way. Also, I was able to make her soup every day, and we spent the weekends together; we’d go to the spa for a massage and rehearse our lines. She had many more than I did and I was happy for her.
You are unquestionably a role model for aging naturally and gracefully.
The secret is not to judge other women. The passage of time gives us so many options and different paths, and we all have to choose what’s right for ourselves. I don’t judge those who have made different choices than I did when it comes to aging. I refuse to compete with other women. I decided a long time ago that I prefer to love and support them. When I look at another woman, I see a sister, and each of us needs to be free to do whatever makes her feel good.
What persuaded you to accept the role in A Sudden Case of Christmas?
I like comedies because they make people smile. I found this movie unconventional, and I like Chelsom as a director: he knows how to explore themes with a light touch, which I really appreciate. And then I was glad to be on set with Danny DeVito.
“Men are still in power, but as women, we need to drop out of the old game and fight for each other’s success.”
In the movie, you play a grandmother. What struck you the most about your character, Rose?
When I read the screenplay, at first I was pretty worried about how people might react seeing her marriage fall apart. I think that the movie does a good job of explaining that it’s not just a matter of infidelity, but the end of a relationship that was already broken.
Your Rose makes a strong choice of personal freedom.
It’s a choice I admire and that has nothing to do with another woman, or any feminine rivalry. She simply realizes that she and her husband have become two different people, and their paths are diverging. Even if she has what we could call a good husband – he treats her well and respects her – Rose realizes that she’s not living her life to the fullest. Her life, her desire, even her age.
Do you think society, with its patriarchal heritage, is still too hard on women as they get older?
There’s a cruel attitude toward mature women. It can become a battle to continue to be seen as beautiful, glamourous and desirable, and not to feel excluded, as we age. All of a sudden we’re chased away, turned down, left behind – we become invisible. Demi Moore explains it well in The Substance.
Your daughter Margaret co-stars in that film.
She was wonderful in that movie. I was so proud. I’m not saying that because she’s my daughter. The movie is excellent, it’s liberating, and it really captures the ridiculousness of heterosexual white men and the old and powerful in their subjugation of women. Everyone should see it, take their girlfriends and laugh, maybe with a glass of champagne.
Did you feel supported by your mother when you were young?
I wouldn’t say my poor mother was a good mother, but in some way she taught me to be strong. We had a strange relationship, but it was a good one. It’s impossible for me to describe it in words, but I absorbed so much energy from her chaos [Editor’s note: MacDowell’s mother was an alcoholic]. Having fought so hard and suffered so much as a daughter made me stronger as a woman.
When did you learn to say to yourself, “Nice job”?
Only very recently, to be honest. For years I looked for love in places where I’d never find it, forcing relationships with impossible people just to be seen, appreciated and loved.
Really?
In relationships and in friendship I often chose impossible partners. In the end, after 66 years, I realized that I’m the one who needs to love myself. Because that’s how it should be, and because I deserve to be loved.
The world is in turmoil. Are you worried?
I’m much more than just worried. [Editor’s note: She has tears in her eyes.] I’m sorry, I can’t hold it in. It seems to me that people choose not to see, they consume fake news and don’t go any further. My greatest fear is that this tendency is becoming more widespread. People who have no intention of understanding or listening to the way things really are, won’t do it until everything has gotten worse, and at that point it will be too late. I’m sorry, but I find the world pretty depressing. I would like to be more optimistic. I try to keep in mind that we still have the freedom to choose. As women, especially.
To choose what?
To save ourselves, together. To hug each other, to look in each other’s eyes and say: “At least I have you.” Because no one else will come save us if we don’t save each other.
Why are the powers-that-be of the patriarchy afraid of women?
Men are afraid of losing the power they have had for centuries, and which they want to keep forever. We are a threat to their unchallenged dominance and they have no intention of losing their privileges. And, as I’ll never tire of repeating, that won’t change until as women, we recognize the incredible power that we have when we stand together.
Translation By Cynthia Martens
