In a candid interview with GQ magazine released this week, the Duke of Sussex spoke about losing his mother as a child and learning to live with the grief.
Prince Harry, 42, who lost his mother, Princess Diana, at age
12, told GQ that suppressing his feelings had left him “so
numb.” Through therapy, he eventually found the permission to
cry.
“I’ve learned to, I guess, accept and understand that you don’t ever get over grief. You live with it, you learn to live with it. And also I’ve never wanted to get over the grief.”
“I love the fact that I’m able to now sort of carry the memory of my mother with me, with my work, rather than it hold me down, pull me back, or me wallowing in that grief,” he said. “I don’t think I ever wallowed in it. I don’t think I was ever allowed to. It never really occurred to me.”
Living with Regret and Memories
Princess Diana died in a highly publicized car crash in Paris on August 31, 1997, aged 36, leaving behind Harry and his older brother, Prince William, who were just 12 and 15. In the hours before her death, Diana spoke to her sons, who were staying at Balmoral, the royal family’s Scottish residence. The conversation was brief: the boys wanted to return to playing with their cousins.
In the interview, Harry explained that the phone call remains one of his biggest regrets. “If I’d known it was the last call with her, how different that conversation would have been. And I’m the one that has to live with that.”
Alongside his feelings of regret, Harry spoke about missing
his mother, often wondering what the world, and his family, would
be like if she were still alive. “There is a connection still with
my mom that I really do feel her energy at certain times and
certain parts of my life,” he said.
A Student of Grief
A self-described student of grief, Harry is also hosting a class on evidence-based practices for coping with bereavement alongside Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, a neuroscientist and expert on loss.
“My goal here with being able to share my story, share a part of my story, and, you know, for the years that I’ve always shared elements of that, I don’t do it for myself. Anyone who is grieving, anyone who has grieved or had significant loss in their life will probably say the same thing, which is, I’ve shared what I need to share in order to help heal.”
Harry said people regularly tell him that sharing his experiences has helped them. “As long as that’s the case, then I’m always gonna try and make it easier for other people. It doesn’t matter whether it’s one or a million.”
