As governments across the world sanction self-isolation and working from home becomes a very real situation for most, becoming banished to the boudoir reveals some very interesting style personalities amongst us.

And while the severity of the situation cannot be underplayed, a little light – in this case sartorial satire – is sometimes the best medicine to palliate the global panic.

There’s the deniers, who continue their 9-to-5 fash-dash in a bid to promote optimum productivity and minimise procrastination. There’s the comfort-seekers, who cook and clean to soothe and self-heal and in turn domesticate their look (reading a few emails between bakes). And of course, the slaves to style, forever an opportunist, they turn their hallways into runways and their quarantine into couture.

Inspired by The New Yorker’s hilarious cartoon series, here’s our take on the conference-calls-from-home conundrum, with a little wishful thinking in the mix.

The business up the top, party at the bottom
Ah, the ol’ foolproof Facetime meeting get-up. Up top: crisp white shirt, pair of pearl earrings, Dyson Airwrap-ed blow-wave. Down below: old Bonds undies from 2008 (if any). The update? Bonds’ super cute, super comfy Organics Hi Hi.

the outfit:

organics hi hi, bonds, $16.95. shop now

The Full Pyjama Party
Woo hoo! Working from home! Let the 24-hour-pyjama-party begin. Either glam robe or flannel twin-set (depending which side of the bed you sit on). Remember, all meetings must be audio only.

The outfit:

Cotton Amalfi set, Jasmine and will, $139. shop now

The style sloth
Typical daytime glamazon turns full-time sloth in sloppy-joes and no bra, a style 180 (except for the fact it’s designer sweats, of course). Even queens have an off button (pushed only when global pandemic hits).

The outfit:

Symbolic cotton-jersey hooded sweatshirt, BALENCIAGA, $1,045. shop now

The Denier
I’m not in quarantine, everything’s fine, everyone is fine, I’m fine. I’ll be back at work in no time! Wearing head-to-toe corporate kit including slacks, sharp shirt, stilettos and sneakers-in-backpack ready to go for the commute home. A wardrobe well-equipped to induce productivity, not procrastination.

The outfit:

U Jersey Double Pocket Long Sleeve Shirt, Uniqlo, $79.90. shop now

drape detail trousers, DION LEE, $590. shop now

Condor Alveomesh running trainers, veja, $225. shop no

The Quarantine Couturier
Monday: Look 13 Bottega Veneta Spring Summer / 2020. Tuesday: Look 23 Burberry Spring / Summer 2020. Wednesday: Look 3 Gucci Spring / Summer 2020. Thursday: Look 42 Fendi Spring Summer / 2020. Friday: Casual Friday’s in head-to-toe Balenciaga (you know, the sporty stuff). Ain’t no isolation gonna ruin my fashion parade.

The outfit:

Madras-check pleated cotton fil-á-fil shirtdress, gucci, $6,600. shop now

The Domestic Goddess
Mandatory house-isolation turns you to apron-clad comfort baking and ceaseless cleaning in a moment of pure domestic goddess-dom. You may not have replied to one email but you’ve got Alison Roman’s Lemony Turmeric Tea Cake – aka “house cake” – fresh out of the oven and a floor so clean you can eat said cake off it (best not to though, this is not the time to be taking risks). Remember, baking makes everything better.

the Outfit:

Pieni Unikko apron, Marimekko, $73. shop now

The Athleisure Queen
Finally! I can wear my lycra to work! (read: home). But I’m absolutely not going to that cesspool, that virulent breeding ground, that haven of infection – the gym.

The outfit:

Circuit Breaker Bra and All Day High Rise Tight  and All Day High Rise Tight in mist in mist, nimble activewear, $79 and $99. shop now

The road-tester
Home bound? Now is the perfect time to trial all my looks for when I actually have to go back into work / events / lunches. Remember, the hallway is my runway.

The outfit:

all bottega veneta, shop now from matches fashion