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The glitz of a Hollywood occasion doesn’t always equate to happy guests. As she reflects on her career-making Oscars win, Nicole Kidman has revealed that the night wasn’t all it seemed to be from the outset.
In 2003, Kidman hit a major career milestone when the then-36-year-old claimed the Best Actress award for her Virginia Woolf role in The Hours. But elsewhere, in her personal life, things weren’t quite as peachy.
Though she put on a brave face for the awards ceremony, the Australian actress was concealing her private struggle, she explained to author Dave Karger for his latest book, 50 Oscar Nights.
While the win should have been exciting, shortly before the ceremony, Kidman had finalised her divorce from fellow actor Tom Cruise after eleven years of marriage, which put a damper on the evening.
“I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well. That’s what happens, right?” Kidman said to Karger via People magazine.
When she initially accepted her speech, Kidman broke down in tears before composing herself. Recalling how she felt that night, she tells Karger that all she wanted to do was go home instead of enjoying the post-awards parties.
“I’m not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party, and everyone was like, ‘You’ve got to go. You’ve got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award,’” she said. “I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it.”
“I wish I could have enjoyed it more,” she lamented.
Once back at her hotel, the actress said she felt a longing for love.
“I went home and ended up ordering takeout and eating it on the floor of the Beverly Hills Hotel,” she revealed. “I sat on the floor of the hotel, eating French fries and a burger with my family and went to bed. That’s when it hit me. I thought: I need to find my love; I need a love in my life. Because this is supposed to be when you go, ‘This is ours.’”
She then added that she would do things differently should she ever win again.
“I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight,” she said. “If I ever won again, I’m telling you, I’d be out for 24 hours.”
Kidman would go on to start dating singer Keith Urban two years later, whom she has been married to since 2006 and shares two children, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret.
