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She was the straight-talking cheerleading sidekick to McKinley High’s queen bee Quinn Fabray. In reality, American actress Naya Rivera wasn’t too far removed from her Glee character Santana Lopez. Further proof of this fact can be found in her new book Sorry Not Sorry: Dreams, Mistakes and Growing Up which is a strong concoction of about six scathing tales. While the secret abortion that took place during a day off from set, the high school breast augmentation and the fact she found Ariana Grande at her ex-boyfriend Big Sean’s place are all some of the things she touches on. Here though, take a peek at what really happened behind-the-scenes on the Glee set.

On her relationship with Lea Michele:

“One of the Glee writers once said that Lea and I were like two sides of the same battery and that about sums us up. We are both strong willed and competitive—not just with each other but with everyone—and that’s not a good mixture,” writes Rivera, whose character, Santana, was often at odds with Michele’s character, Rachel. “As the show progressed, though, that friendship started to break down, especially as Santana moved from a background character to one with bigger plot lines and more screen time. I think Rachel—erm, I mean Lea—didn’t like sharing the spotlight.” 

On the late Cory Montieth:

“I doubt I’m alone in feeling a lot of regret about his death. Since he died, a lot of us have spent time wondering and talking about what would have happened if someone had stepped in or confronted him about what was going on. Or what if he’d been trying to talk to someone about what was going on and just thought no one cared? Like, maybe that one time when it was just the two of us walking out to our cars, maybe if I would have just walked a little bit slower and hadn’t been in such a hurry to get home, maybe he would have seen it as an opportunity to bring something up,” the actress writes. “You can drive yourself crazy like that, because no number of ifs will ever make anything different.”

On her ex-boyfriend and co-star Mark Salling and his arrest for child pornography posession:

“When Mark dumped me, I thought it was the worst thing ever, but can you imagine if that didn’t happen? And I was laying there in bed when the battering ram came through the door?I think everyone should have that one relationship where you look back and ask yourself, ‘What the hell was I thinking?’ You’ll learn something and you won’t regret it,” she writes. “Unless, of course, that relationship was with someone who had a sizable stash of child porn on his computer. Then, by all means, regret everything.”

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