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Lindy Rama-Ellis is a woman who appears completely comfortable with who she is. As we gather ourselves through reliably clumsy Zoom introductions, she is relaxed and candid – two qualities that really shouldn’t be surprising given she is the co-founder of an intimate wellness brand, Fig Femme. Rama-Ellis launched the brand back in June last year, which has afforded her plenty of opportunities to put that easygoing air into practice – particularly when discussing what has historically been regarded as an extremely contentious and taboo topic.

She’s good at it, navigating discussion around internalised shame and anatomy without a single hesitation. “I’m excited to talk about vaginas with you,” she laughs, instantly making me feel less awkward about something that really shouldn’t feel strange to address at all. But despite our global ‘a-wokening’, discourse around the vagina remains divisive – particularly as they pertain to the polarising topic of intimate care products.

Rama-Ellis was confronted by it when Fig Femme first hit the market, as the brand’s launch product – a soothing sheet mask for the vulva – generated a wave of criticism that argued intimate care products are sexist and ultimately designed to stoke vaginal shame. It took the Balinese-Australian model by surprise, as similar products were already booming in overseas markets thanks to the likes of GOOP.

Perhaps Australia wasn’t ready yet, she muses, but Rama-Ellis remains steadfast that her intentions were only to create options for those that wanted to nourish an oft-neglected area – not to make women feel like they needed to change or be ashamed of anything.

Here we speak to Lindy about her beauty routine, navigating negative body image and the evolving conversation on intimate care.

GRAZIA: Growing up, what was your relationship to beauty?

Lindy Rama-Ellis: I grew up in a super small country town in Tasmania. I’m Balinese-Australian, so obviously I looked very different to all my friends growing up. I can remember trying to get into makeup back in the 80s, but there was literally no foundation that would match my colour, which I always found quite awkward.

So from then, I’ve always done the less-is-more thing, both with my skincare regime and my makeup. I don’t even think I own a hairbrush! I just put my hair back in a bun most days. As I’m getting older, the less makeup I put on, the better. I still like to experiment though, especially if I’m going to an event. I’ve always loved the beauty industry, trying out new products and doing really nice things to care for myself.

How did that evolve as you began your career as a model in Melbourne?

When I moved to Melbourne, I had really bad body image. Being in that industry, in that time, was very hard. It was difficult going into a casting and hearing, “No, you’re too fat” – if you don’t have a thick skin, it hits hard. As a result, I definitely developed some issues in my early 20s. Not many people know this, but when I met my ex-husband [former Olympic swimmer Michael Klim], I weighed 42 kilos which for my height is very, very low.

Once I had my first daughter, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t put what I had learned through the industry on to my children, so I had 10 years of counselling just on that particular topic to work through those feelings and negative body image. It was tough, and I don’t ever want my girls or my son to feel like that – it’s something I feel very strongly about, so I’m very aware of it and I’m very on top of it.

Now I’m 42 and healthy, and in our household we speak nicely about our bodies, eat healthy and exercise well, without taking things to the extreme. I love the way the world is starting to move, celebrating all figures, different skin tones and different appearances because we need to celebrate everybody for the way that we are.

That’s an extremely difficult experience to have. Anyone who has been there will know that it can take a long time to get through it. How have you learned to reframe or manage those negative thoughts when they inevitably arise?

For sure. When I get really stressed, my body kind of shuts down and I don’t feel like eating, but I make sure that I still do. I got really sick with Dengue fever not long ago, and so did my husband. He didn’t eat a single thing for two weeks, because you’re feeling so sick, but I still made sure I was nurturing and feeding my body what it needs so that I didn’t fall back into that mindset. It’s very easy to get back there, so I’m constantly aware of it.

It’s the same with things like exercising. I was once obsessed with the gym – like I would be working out two hours, three hours a day, and routine for me is very important. But COVID-19 lockdowns have taught me a few good lessons. Gyms were closed for quite a while, so I couldn’t do my routine and I just had to be more relaxed, to just go with the flow. When I went back to the gym for the first time, I didn’t care so much. Before I’d be like, “Oh my god, I’ve missed that gym session, I don’t feel good about myself”, but now I just don’t care. I do what’s right for me and what’s right for my body and I know to not stress so much.

You’ve become a successful entrepreneur, first in skincare and now through intimate wellness products with Fig Femme. What drew you to the beauty industry?

Milk&Co started because my ex-husband was a swimmer, so his skin was always dry and he wanted to make sure that it was nourished. I’ve always loved creams and lotions, so I got involved in that sense, and then I had children so I brought out the organic skincare range for kids. It was only out of necessity, because I couldn’t find the products to use on them at the time. So I thought, “Okay, well, I’ll make them”.

Even with Fig Femme, when I gave birth for the first time 15 years ago and felt sore and swollen, there wasn’t a product for my vulva, so eventually I made one. Obviously the timing had to be right – if I had’ve released it then, nobody would’ve been ready for it. The world is barely ready for it right now! Back then, there were no products to use for down there, so after I gave birth – when everything is swollen and in pain – I was given a condom full of frozen water to put in my underwear to help with the swelling.

It felt awful, and I wondered why there wasn’t something to help me in that situation, when it felt like my body was screaming for help. If I have puffy eyes, I can put some cream on to fix that. But there was nothing for me to put on after I had given birth, or even after a wax or laser treatment. So that’s when I came up with the concept that would eventually become Fig Femme.

Intimate care is a topic that has historically been tied up with a lot of taboo. Did you encounter that when you first began developing Fig Femme?

Yeah, for sure. I would often meet women and we would connect around our birth stories, or I would have these open conversations a lot with all my girlfriends. But a few of them couldn’t stand the word vagina. And I wondered why we could talk about our lipstick, or our eyes, or the dry skin on our legs, but we couldn’t talk about this one area? So about three years ago, I decided to actually launch Fig Femme.

I want people to be able to speak freely about it, because it shouldn’t be awkward. My own relationship towards my vagina was pretty naive. Before I had children, I really had no idea how it functioned until I had my kids and saw what it goes through. I’ve pushed four watermelon-sized babies out! So it’s pretty amazing and I’m so proud of what my body can achieve and can do, which is why I want to celebrate it and nurture and nourish it where I can.

It’s interesting, isn’t it? It’s something that can do so much, and yet for so long it’s felt like stigma has stopped us from celebrating it, or even acknowledging it in any way, shape or form.

Yeah, exactly. I’ve never quite understood it. I know there are a lot of people out there that are really passionate about saying, “No, you’re not to use anything on it”, and that’s great for some people. But I know a lot of people that do use products that are there on the shelves already, or they’re washing the area with their body wash. So wouldn’t you prefer to use a pH-level balanced product, especially for that area, rather than the product you’re using for your armpits?

Maybe it’s because what has been out there has been a bit daggy or too clinical, or it’s about the name of the products, but we shouldn’t be ashamed if we choose to use them. Even things like condoms and lubricant are really directed towards men and their packaging is very masculine, but these are things that go inside us. That’s why I wanted to bring out Fig Femme, so we could try to normalise these conversations and the fact that yes, some women do like to use these products and shouldn’t feel ashamed about having them in their bathroom cupboards, or in their basket at the supermarket.

You had mixed reactions to your first product, the Restore Mask. How did you process that?

It was really hard and I had some really dark moments. I put everything I had into this, my funds and my life, so it was hurtful, because I certainly didn’t intend to upset people, and I’m so sorry if I did. I knew that Fig Femme was not going to be for everyone, and I knew that the words vulva and vagina are a trigger for a lot of people. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to educate myself to know why it is a trigger, but at the same time, it’s an argument that nobody can really win. No one’s gonna see each other’s side of it, because it’s just such a huge topic. And, you know, I launched it in a difficult time during COVID, where people were already upset and stressed, so it probably wasn’t the best time to launch, but I had to for financial reasons.

I wasn’t too surprised at the reception, but I was shocked by the anger and the hatred that came with it. I was also just so upset with myself, because I really wanted to understand why I upset some women so badly, for them to say that I was shaming women into using the products – which is the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. I’m not about shaming, I wanted to celebrate this part of our body, and to nurture it and to soothe it.

I was never saying ‘this is going to make your vagina look a certain way’. It was just about soothing it after having a wax or laser treatment, or after sex, or if you’ve got your period. I wanted to bring a product out that was nurturing towards women, and definitely not to shame them in any sense of the word. If the products aren’t for you, I’m not saying you need it, and you don’t have to go and buy it. It’s a beauty product, it’s not an essential. But if you happen to want to use a product like this, like I did, then there’s something available for you.

Beauty is quite controversial by nature, and it could be argued that we really don’t need most of the products we use. There’s now a lot of skincare out there for other body parts – sheet masks for your butt, your chin, your feet – but we don’t seem to view our intimate areas in the same way. Would you agree with that?

Yes, and Fig Femme is not the first of its kind. I mean in Europe these products are used every day, like any normal product. I think we’ll get there in the end, I definitely do. It’s not a fad, the intimate wellness category is here to stay – I just think people need to get their head around it a little bit more. If they enjoy it, and it makes them feel good, so be it.

One of Fig Femme’s core principles is to turn routine into ritual. What does that look like in your everyday life?

It’s really difficult to find those moments, especially as life is just so busy for so many people now. So I try to turn something as routine as having a shower, for example, into an enjoyable experience by putting some music on so that it becomes like a special ritual. It’s about trying to find and capture those little moments for yourself, that typically would be routine, and turning them into a ritual where you can.

For me, I love my long walks where I listen to a podcast and just take time out. Or I’ll have a bath, which I hardly ever do, to really nurture myself. Even just cooking with music on has really helped me through some of the darker times I’ve had recently. Those are the kind of beautiful rituals that I love.