kim kanye
Credit: Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/French Select/Getty Images. PARIS, FRANCE – SEPTEMBER 24: Kanye West, Kim Kardashian and their daughter North West attend the Balenciaga show as part of the Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2015 on September 24, 2014 in Paris, France.

Since announcing their divorce in February, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have refused to speak publicly about their marriage breakdown. But on the most recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the second to last episode ever ahead of the finale next week, we got an insight into how Kardashian was faring in the lead up to deciding to separate from the rapper. 

In the episode, which was shot when Kardashian and West were still together, the Kardashian-Jenner family went on holiday to Lake Tahoe where, immediately, Kardashian got unjustifiably angry about seeing a plate of cookies in the kitchen. 

“Did I not say no to these cookies? Like, they have to be taken away. I gained 15 lbs., like, this is a joke. I’m gonna throw them in the toilet,” she said, before adding, “Where’s my room? I just want to go to my room and never come out.”

Referencing her sister and West’s marriage breakdown, Khloé Kardashian said direct to camera later, “Kim has been struggling privately behind camera about her relationship and it’s tough because Kim is clearly redirecting so much of her frustration and sadness and anger. And, you know, sometimes you just take things out on something that has nothing to do with what you’re going through. It’s not the cookies’ fault.”

Later, Kardashian was prompted by her sisters to speak about how she and West were doing at the time. 

“There’s no fighting, like, now it’s all calm so I just roll with it,” Kardashian said, before Khloé revealed that the pair had a fight prior to the family’s Tahoe trip, which West didn’t attend. 

“Kim is dealing with so much right now, and it’s tough because before we left, her and Kanye had this big fight,” she told the cameras. 

The footage then turned to the aftermath of the former couple’s fight, with Kardashian crying to her sisters, saying she feels like a “failure” because it’s her third marriage. 

“I honestly can’t do this anymore,” she said through tears. “Why am I still in this like, place where I’m stuck for years? Like, he goes and moves to a different state, every year, I have to be together so I can raise the kids, you know? And he’s an amazing dad, he’s done an amazing job …” 

She continued, “I think he deserves someone that can go support his every move, go follow him all over the place and move to Wyoming — I can’t do that. He should have a wife that supports his every move and travels with him and does everything.” 

“I feel like a f—— failure, that it’s like, a third f—— marriage,” Kim added. “Yeah I feel like a f—— loser. But I can’t even think about that like, I want to be happy.” 

“Kim is one of the most incredible human beings, literally ever, and she tries to protect their union at all costs, but it’s hard when you carry that responsibility on your shoulders and I just want her to take care of herself too,” Khloé said in her confessional before the episode turned back to Lake Tahoe. 

“You can always talk to me about whatever,” she told Kardashian. 

“There’s honestly nothing to talk about,” Kardashian replied. “I mean, I won’t live with the fighting and stuff, like, if it was constant.”

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