{"id":976,"date":"2020-05-20T10:55:51","date_gmt":"2020-05-20T00:55:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/?post_type=articles&p=172968"},"modified":"2020-11-15T17:05:33","modified_gmt":"2020-11-15T17:05:33","slug":"phone-fatigue-covid19-social-isolation","status":"publish","type":"articles","link":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/articles\/phone-fatigue-covid19-social-isolation\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Calling, Stop Calling, I Don\u2019t Wanna Talk Anymore. Is Anyone Else Experiencing Phone Fatigue?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Naomi Campbell \/ Ellen von Unwerth<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I hate talking on the phone. Even when I get a call from someone I love, who I genuinely enjoy speaking to, the only thing running through my mind as the caller ID flashes is, Do I have to take this?<\/p>\n

A call without a warning text feels aggressive. Is this an emergency? Are you in danger? I hope not, because I almost certainly won\u2019t answer. Even if I see it ringing, I\u2019ll let it go to voicemail. There goes Claudia, I\u2019ll think. I always liked her.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s only if I see it ringing \u2013 I typically leave my phone languishing in Do Not Disturb, so the chances of my receiving a call are very low. I once locked my housemate out of our apartment, sleeping blissfully as he knocked for hours, each of his calls directed straight to voicemail.<\/p>\n

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I couldn\u2019t believe how much time he spent on his phone. He\u2019s in constant contact with his best friends, trading inane messages throughout the day (the conversation goes something like, \u2018How\u2019s your day man?\u2019 \u2018Not bad man n u?\u2019 \u2013 and it never stops). Meanwhile, like a normal person, I ignore my loved ones\u2019 messages for weeks, then eventually reply with fourteen stream-of-consciousness texts in a row.<\/p>\n

I view work calls as an unfortunate obligation. When I worked as a lawyer, an unexpected call from a client always elicited a pang of annoyance. My first thought would be, How did you get this number? And I still need to psyche myself up to make a call for work \u2013 go to a quiet place, prepare a little script \u2013 sure that if I neglect these steps, something weird will slip out.<\/p>\n

If I get someone\u2019s voicemail, that\u2019s game over. I can hear my stilted gibberish, even before it comes out. A friend once left a voicemail in which she only got as far as stumbling over her own name before hanging up (\u2018This is Ella\u2026 Haybrick. (Mutters) Ella Haybrick. (Much louder than necessary) THIS IS ELLA HAYBRICK!\u2019). When I heard that, I felt not just sympathy, but recognition. Yes, I thought. I\u2019ll do that one day.<\/p>\n

At the moment, phone and Zoom calls are not just an occasional annoyance, but a way of life. They are the new epicenter of the social world (although with restrictions easing and some restaurants starting to reopen in Australia, possibly not for much longer).<\/p>\n

\"\"
Brigitte Bardot \/ (Photographer Unknown)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

For now, though, our phones hang over our social interactions like watchful tyrants. Like everyone else, I\u2019ve scheduled many catch-up calls over the past few months. I\u2019ve tried everything I can to avoid them, but the problem is, my excuses are limited. My social schedule is wide open \u2013 and everyone knows my social schedule is wide open, because everyone else\u2019s social schedule is wide open.<\/p>\n

A phone call also isn\u2019t the sort of thing you can justifiably bail on when the world is shut down. You can\u2019t say you were stuck at another event, or that public transport held you up, or that you couldn\u2019t get an Uber. Being sick also isn\u2019t a good excuse, because you don\u2019t need to leave your home (or even your bed) to pick up. You\u2019re stuck either taking the call or saying outright that you don\u2019t want to. Can I say that? I always wonder, before reluctantly picking up.<\/p>\n

Sometimes the appointed time will come and go, and the call just\u2026 won\u2019t happen. This is best case for me. I see it as a game of chicken \u2013 I suspect some of my friends dislike talking on the phone as much as I do, that they\u2019re waiting on the other line, feeling the same tension and relief as the seconds after the designated call time tick by. I imagine us \u2013 two people, in two different beds; two fingers poised to press two \u2018Next Episode\u2019 buttons \u2013 both hoping not to hear from the other.<\/p>\n

When this happens, it\u2019s good form to follow up with some apologetic texts the next day. \u2018Were we meant to speak last night?\u2019 \u2018Yes, I\u2019m so sorry, I totally forgot to call you!\u2019 \u2018No, it\u2019s my fault!\u2019 But these are meaningless, as inevitably, it will happen again.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t enjoy talking to the people who call me \u2013 it\u2019s the medium I don\u2019t like. The graininess, the far-away-ness. The land of the phone call feels imaginary; when I\u2019m trapped in it, I am painfully aware that real-world seconds are ticking away. I don\u2019t like speaking on the phone because it\u2019s the opposite of sharing an experience. You\u2019re together, but not really. Each of you is siloed in your own world.<\/p>\n

READ: GRAZIA POSTCARDS FROM HOME<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

But I continue to make and receive phone calls because\u2026 how can I stop? Like so many others, I have dear friends who live overseas and interstate \u2013 and I love them, even if I hate the way we communicate. Talking on the phone is thoroughly unenjoyable \u2013 it pales in comparison to real-world experiences; it doesn\u2019t begin to approximate true togetherness \u2013 but I keep it up because I know it\u2019s worth doing. It lets the people we care about know we\u2019re there, even when we\u2019re far away. Often (and certainly lately) it\u2019s the best we have.<\/p>\n

That said, please don\u2019t call. I probably won\u2019t pick up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10061,"featured_media":977,"template":"","format":"standard","categories":[38,16],"yoast_head":"\nStop Calling, Stop Calling, I Don\u2019t Wanna Talk Anymore. Is Anyone Else Experiencing Phone Fatigue? - Grazia USA<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"With so much of the world shut down, speaking on the phone is more embedded in daily life than ever. I, for one, am sick of it\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/articles\/phone-fatigue-covid19-social-isolation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stop Calling, Stop Calling, I Don\u2019t Wanna Talk Anymore. 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