{"id":40905,"date":"2021-11-23T18:32:57","date_gmt":"2021-11-23T18:32:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/?post_type=articles&p=40905"},"modified":"2021-11-23T23:02:40","modified_gmt":"2021-11-23T23:02:40","slug":"ranch-at-rock-creek","status":"publish","type":"articles","link":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/articles\/ranch-at-rock-creek\/","title":{"rendered":"The Ranch At Rock Creek: The Wonder Woman Island of the West"},"content":{"rendered":"
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From left: EJ, Margaret, Julie, Jen and Dibs (Credit: Dibs Baer)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but because of the pandemic I hadn\u2019t been on a real vacation in a freakishly long time.\u00a0I don\u2019t count\u00a0one terrifying night in Vegas being mouth-\u00a0and nose-breathed on by hordes of unmasked, (probably)\u00a0unvaxxed\u00a0tourists. Dummies.\u00a0Feeling\u00a0trapped in my house\u00a0in\u00a0Palm Springs\u00a024\/7 for almost two years really wore me down\u00a0physically and emotionally, to the point I\u00a0kinda\u00a0felt dead\u00a0inside, if\u00a0I may\u00a0be slightly overdramatic.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I mentioned the\u00a0existential dread\u00a0consuming\u00a0my soul\u00a0on a Zoom,\u00a0what\u00a0else ugh, with\u00a0my best friend\u00a0EJ, who lives\u00a0across the country\u00a0in New Jersey.\u00a0She lamented that the most exciting thing she\u2019d done recently was\u00a0drive an extra 15 miles to check out\u00a0a\u00a0brand\u00a0new Wegman\u2019s.\u00a0So yeah, she was in the same boat.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Between\u00a0ugly\u00a0politics, non-stop work zooms, taking care of\u00a0our aging parents,\u00a0one\u00a0breakup\u00a0and one ex dropping dead, we were\u00a0sad,\u00a0burned out,\u00a0and uninspired.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I insisted we go on a trip\u00a0to unplug, rejuvenate, reset. A legit vacation where we\u2019d\u00a0turn off our phones and nobody\u00a0would dare\u00a0type, \u201cI hope this email finds you well.\u201d\u00a0 No\u00a0work\u00a0at all. Period(t).\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIn this economy?\u201d she joked.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u00a0decided,\u00a0for our mental stability,\u00a0we needed\u00a0to go somewhere away from lots of people where we\u2019d get fresh air\u00a0and\u00a0feel\u00a0zen-like peace,\u00a0but also\u00a0move our bodies in ways we hadn\u2019t in a long time. That\u2019s what she said. No, really, that was\u00a0EJ\u2019s\u00a0suggestion. I forgot to mention that two years imbedded in\u00a0our\u00a0couches\u00a0streaming Reese Witherspoon dramedies had atrophied our minds, spirits,\u00a0<\/span>and<\/span><\/i>\u00a0bodies.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Credit: Dibs Baer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We picked The Ranch at Rock Creek, about an hour and change south of\u00a0Missoula, Montana, for a couple reasons. This authentic 19<\/span>th<\/span>\u00a0century homestead, the world\u2019s first Forbes Travel Guide five-star guest ranch,\u00a0offered the best of both worlds. We\u2019d be super active and get down\u00a0n\u00a0dirty\u00a0with mother nature, but also\u00a0be\u00a0pampered\u00a0and\u00a0spoiled\u00a0rotten.\u00a0Plus,\u00a0The Ranch\u00a0was\u00a0pandemic-proofed.\u00a0It\u00a0was so isolated, the\u00a0COVID\u00a0rate in the county was almost non-existent. Plus,\u00a0I thought\u00a0EJ\u00a0might enjoy eyeballing some cute cowboys. I\u2019m giving and unselfish like that.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So\u00a0we booked it,\u00a0bought too many\u00a0boleros\u00a0we\u2019d\u00a0only\u00a0wear\u00a0once,\u00a0and I met my bestie out Westie.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing though. The minute we arrived at The Ranch at Rock Creek it was clear this was not going to be a typical \u201cdude\u201d ranch vacation. First impressions are everything. The driver who picked us up at the airport, an effervescent young woman in a denim tuxedo named Kary, hoisted our embarrassingly overpacked 50-pound bags in and out of the SUV trunk with ease, as if she was flipping over a tire during a CrossFit workout. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kary was our first indication of what and who was to come. The Ranch, nestled in a pristine, rolling valley between the Pintler, Sapphire and John Long mountain ranges, was basically the Western version of Wonder Woman Island. Montana newsman Joseph Kinsey Howard famously described the landscape as \u201cHigh, wide, and handsome,\u201d but this particular place had a woman\u2019s touch all over it. Everywhere we went and almost everything we did was organized and\/or instructed by talented cowgirls with fascinating backgrounds and skillz for days. They could shoot, wrangle, ride, rodeo, fish, bee-keep, bow, cook, scale tall mountains, skin a bear, anything and everything, and they were more than happy to teach us soft city folk the more rugged ways of their world. For real, it didn\u2019t feel like <\/span>White Lotus<\/span><\/i>, we didn\u2019t get the sense that the staff secretly hated our guts and one of us would end up\u00a0in a\u00a0pine\u00a0box\u00a0by the end of the trip.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Credit: Dibs Baer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The all-inclusive price included\u00a0two\u00a0privately\u00a0guided activities per day,\u00a0chosen\u00a0from an extensive list of 45 outdoor adventures, like fly fishing, horseback riding, downhill and cross-country skiing, snow shoeing, sporting clays, riflery, trap and skeet, snowmobiling, mountain biking, sapphire mining,\u00a03D\u00a0archery, geo-caching, wildlife viewing, float trips, ATV tours, sleigh rides, ice fishing, and more.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though\u00a0our\u00a0daily itinerary\u00a0was\u00a0packed\u00a0from morning\u00a0til\u00a0night, it\u00a0felt\u00a0serene\u00a0rather than stressful.\u00a0I mean, you\u2019re one\u00a0with nature\u00a0ffs.\u00a0First stop\u00a0on our\u00a0schedule, a scenic overlook: our\u00a0baby-faced\u00a0hiking guide\u00a0Erin\u00a0marched\u00a0us\u00a0up\u00a0to a\u00a0vista\u00a0that overlooked the entire stunning 6,600-acre property\u00a0including\u00a0Rock Creek, one of the World\u2019s few Blue Ribbon designated fisheries. I was embarrassed that I had to stop often to catch my breath, the air was mighty thin for this desert\u00a0rat. But the\u00a0awe-inspiring\u00a0view was worth every gasp and wheeze.\u00a0Erin had such an infectious,\u00a0positive vibe and was so knowledgeable about the\u00a0area, history,\u00a0plants,\u00a0and animals we might encounter.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat animal is this?\u201d I asked, pointing to\u00a0a giant mound of scat on the trail, imagining a big cat with big fangs\u00a0looking for dinner.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cA horse [you dummy],\u201d EJ answered.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, right. In any case, not being eaten by a mountain lion or bobcat\u00a0was the perfect way to kick off our retreat.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

EJ and I\u00a0were most excited to get back on the horse, literally and\u00a0metaphorically.\u00a0So,\u00a0we signed up for \u201cTeam Penning,\u201d\u00a0which\u00a0had nothing to do\u00a0with\u00a0the somewhat unsatisfying Season 3 finale of\u00a0<\/span>You<\/span><\/i>. No,\u00a0wranglers\u00a0Bri\u00a0and\u00a0Erynn\u00a0taught us to move stubborn, sneaky cattle while\u00a0astride\u00a0our beautiful horses, Tank for me and Pepto for EJ.\u00a0The ranch has about 70 horses, including several majestic draft horses, and once a week at sunset you can witness\u00a0them gallop back to pasture for the night. For the\u00a0\u201cThe Running of the Horses\u201d\u00a0you stand\u00a0in \u201ca people pen\u201d in the middle of a field and they all\u00a0stampede\u00a0past\u00a0you,\u00a0their\u00a0manes\u00a0wisping\u00a0majestically\u00a0in the wind, their\u00a0hooves pounding the ground like thunder.\u00a0It was so moving, I checked Zillow to find out how much it would cost to move to Montana immediately.\u00a0It\u00a0ain\u2019t\u00a0cheap due to\u00a0tourists\u00a0like us falling in love with it,\u00a0so\u00a0I snapped back to reality.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Credit: Dibs Baer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Unlike on Wonder Woman Island, the lassos are real at The Ranch at Rock Creek, but they still felt like they had magical powers in the hands of the all-female,\u00a0bad-ass\u00a0barn staff, which included Hailey, Ariel, Sam, Brooke,\u00a0Paige,\u00a0and Sophie.\u00a0I kept seeing them\u00a0all\u00a0moving\u00a0around The Ranch together, almost like a pack of horses\u00a0themselves, and I\u00a0desperately\u00a0wanted to be included in their posse. Or at least get in one little bar fight together.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Paige, who has a popular\u00a0TikTok\u00a0account about that barn life\u00a0called\u00a0@paigethewrangler, took EJ and I on a trail ride to the top of Whiskey Ridge,\u00a0(there\u2019s literally a barrel of bourbon aging\u00a0way\u00a0up there),\u00a0and taught us all about the personalities of horses. I felt bad when Tank had to drag my fat ass up steep hills, but Paige assured me Tank\u00a0actually enjoyed\u00a0it,\u00a0and\u00a0that\u00a0I could tell he was very content\u00a0because he was snorting a lot,\u00a0a sign\u00a0he was relaxed.\u00a0I made a mental note to cancel my Calm subscription and just start snorting.\u00a0Much cheaper. Just as effective.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

EJ\u2019s horse,\u00a0Moose,\u00a0on the other hand,\u00a0wanted to take\u00a0EJ\u00a0on his own path, probably\u00a0because\u00a0she was too nice to\u00a0him\u00a0at first and he took advantage of her kindness, Paige explained.\u00a0Gotta\u00a0show\u00a0\u2018em\u00a0who\u2019s boss\u00a0right off the bat! A\u00a0lesson\u00a0for horse life and life\u00a0life,\u00a0ya\u00a0know.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This was\u00a0real life,\u00a0and\u00a0The Ranch was a real place \u2014\u00a0not\u00a0Themyscira \u2014\u00a0so\u00a0we weren\u2019t\u00a0<\/span>really<\/span><\/i>\u00a0hidden from Man\u2019s World. The\u00a0property\u00a0is owned by a\u00a0guy\u00a0literally named Jim Manley, and there\u00a0were\u00a0other\u00a0guys\u00a0there, too,\u00a0who\u00a0were just as awesome and awe-inspiring. Our fly-fishing guide,\u00a0Minnesota Matt,\u00a0was\u00a0so passionate\u00a0about his craft,\u00a0any\u00a0time our\u00a0bobber\u00a0dipped under\u00a0the water\u00a0he\u00a0bounded\u00a0over with his net like it was Christmas morning. His\u00a0enthusiasm\u00a0was so infectious,\u00a0we didn\u2019t\u00a0even mind standing\u00a0for two hours\u00a0in\u00a0freezing\u00a023-degree\u00a0creek\u00a0water, or as they\u00a0say\u00a0\u2018round there \u201ccrick,\u201d\u00a0feeling like our toes might fall off,\u00a0even with waders on.\u00a0I pretended I was Brad Pitt in my favorite movie\u00a0<\/span>A River Runs Through It<\/span><\/i>, we each caught two fish, and EJ got first prize for her forearm sized cutthroat\u00a0trout. It was so addicting \u2014 we are now fly-fishing groupies 4 life.\u00a0By\u00a0the way, I fell in the\u00a0crick\u00a0and\u00a0Minnesota\u00a0Matt didn\u2019t even laugh at me. He\u00a0was\u00a0a gem.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Speaking of gems,\u00a0EJ\u00a0went\u00a0sapphire mining and a\u00a0kid\u00a0in her group\u00a0found what her\u00a0guide\u00a0Kevin\u00a0said was the biggest one they\u2019d ever seen, and it felt\u00a0legit\u00a0and like\u00a0maybe\u00a0he\u00a0doesn\u2019t\u00a0say\u00a0that\u00a0to every guest\u00a0even if they\u2019re a\u00a0surly,\u00a0scary teenager.\u00a0Likewise, I was pumped to try shooting clays with\u00a0a Browning 20-gauge shotgun\u00a0and my instructor Harry said I was a \u201cnatural\u201d\u00a0when I blasted those\u00a0flying bird and bolting rabbit saucers to smithereens.\u00a0Sorry I got a little excited.\u00a0Turns\u00a0out,\u00a0EJ\u00a0was\u00a0<\/span>not<\/span><\/i>\u00a0a gun\u00a0enthusiast, but she was a good sport and turned out to be a decent shot. Harry did\u00a0<\/span>not<\/span><\/i>\u00a0call her a natural,\u00a0too,\u00a0and I was #grateful. He also didn\u2019t mind posing for an Instagram picture like\u00a0<\/span>Charlie\u2019s Angels<\/span><\/i>\u00a0with finger guns afterwards\u00a0#photooftheday.\u00a0I\u2019m praying Harry wasn\u2019t just humoring me because I\u00a0really took a shine to\u00a0shooting, despite the tree knot-sized bruise on my shoulder that was entirely my fault for not holding the gun tight enough on my body.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was just so cool to try new things again, after so much boredom for so long. It felt\u00a0really good\u00a0when\u00a0our\u00a0bodies were\u00a0so\u00a0beaten up by end of day,\u00a0between the horseback riding and hiking and shooting and fishing.\u00a0Plus,\u00a0the ranch is pretty much car-less\u00a0\u2014\u00a0you\u2019re given bikes to ride around the property to and from activities.\u00a0Fortunately, we\u00a0requested\u00a0ebikes\u00a0and I\u00a0felt\u00a0#blessed\u00a0for the extra help.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Credit: Dibs Baer\u00a0<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

No self-respectin\u2019,\u00a0five-star\u00a0tootin\u2019 lodge is complete without a little spiritual health + wellness.\u00a0At the Granite Spa\u00a0you can treat yourself to a\u00a0facial, a\u00a0Saddle Sore\u00a0Soak, or a\u00a0CBD-oil\u00a0massage, which is what\u00a0EJ and\u00a0I\u00a0picked.\u00a0The massage\u00a0was heavenly in the hands of Trish, our fabulous therapist.\u00a0Afterwards,\u00a0I was in such a daze,\u00a0I almost fell over. In warmer seasons, treatments are offered\u00a0creek-side in an authentic Conestoga Wagon. The Ranch also offers morning yoga classes, Forest meditation & Wildcrafting and holistic wellness and herbal remedies consultations.\u00a0Because of course it does.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though most of the day at the Ranch is spent being rugged and dirty, thoughtful, feminine\u00a0touches\u00a0put\u00a0the\u00a0service over the top\u00a0here. Things like leaving glasses cleaner, pillow spritzers, coloring books about the local fauna and flora with colored pencils,\u00a0and jars of honey, produced right down the road on the property, in\u00a0our\u00a0room. EJ returned one afternoon and found an adorable bookmark sitting on top of her copy of\u00a0<\/span>Maybe You Should Talk to Someone<\/span><\/i>.\u00a0Every day, an\u00a0invisible\u00a0angel tied up our phone cords with\u00a0twisties,\u00a0and I felt bad that I immediately uncoiled it and left it\u00a0right back\u00a0on the floor.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We stayed in the\u00a0cozy\u00a0Mustang suite in the main lodge but there are 29 one-of-a-kind accommodations\u00a0on the Ranch, including Canvas Glamping Cabins, and a converted, restored historic barn. Nine private, luxury, multi-bedroom log cabins can\u00a0also\u00a0house up to twelve guests. Sara Jane and Eagle\u2019s Perch\u00a0have cool\u00a0bunk\u00a0rooms, while the secluded Trapper Cabin,\u00a0perched on Rock Creek,\u00a0is ideal for\u00a0lovahs.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter which accommodation you choose, you feel like you\u2019ve stepped into a Ralph Lauren catalog. Every inch of the Ranch\u00a0was\u00a0impeccably designed\u00a0by acclaimed Western designer Jet\u00a0Zarkadas\u00a0with comfy,\u00a0custom\u00a0and vintage d\u00e9cor, antiques, textiles and art. Her\u00a0elegant touches put it over the top, such as\u00a0copper tubs, calfskin rugs,\u00a0ornate chandeliers, and a two-person slipper tub in the barn\u2019s Loft. You\u2019ll also\u00a0probably\u00a0want to take your\u00a0insanely comfy\u00a0bed home with you,\u00a0and honestly,\u00a0I bet they\u2019d let you if you\u00a0brought\u00a0a big enough truck.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever your\u00a0little\u00a0heart desires here, someone will make every effort to make it happen. The Ranch has a Mercantile on site and they\u00a0will open it for you privately like you\u2019re Julia Roberts in\u00a0<\/span>Pretty Woman<\/span><\/i>\u00a0or something. I\u00a0bought a cowboy hat\u00a0even though I knew I\u2019d\u00a0literally never wear\u00a0it\u00a0again.\u00a0And that\u2019s okay. I mentioned fresh squeezed orange juice one time and the next morning and every morning after, it was waiting for me\u00a0on the bar\u00a0in the great room in the Granite lodge.\u00a0That\u2019s where we\u00a0watched the sunrise and\u00a0had first breakfast \u2014 coffee and\u00a0<\/span>thee<\/span><\/i>\u00a0most buttery croissants \u2014 sitting in front of a roaring fire place\u00a0on\u00a0buttery\u00a0leather couches.\u00a0In our pajamas. That was rude I guess but it genuinely felt like our own private living room.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Second breakfast and lunch\u00a0were\u00a0served in the\u00a0picturesque\u00a0Buckle Barn (the Birdman toast,\u00a0shipped in\u00a0from\u00a0Missoula baker Le Petit\u00a0Outr,\u00a0was to die for).\u00a0Executive Chef\u00a0Drage\u2019s\u00a0dinners\u00a0were\u00a0multi-course\u00a0performance art,\u00a0basically, made with\u00a0locally sourced, seasonal, organic ingredients.\u00a0The\u00a0menus changed\u00a0daily\u00a0but you\u00a0were\u00a0likely to get Montana beef with whatever theme\u00a0the chef chose that night.\u00a0I\u00a0especially\u00a0loved the \u201cHomestead Supper Club\u201d beef tenderloin and the \u201cMontana Craft Beer Pairing\u201d\u00a0featuring country fried bison.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Credit: Dibs Baer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

After dinner, major food coma set in,\u00a0and we were tempted to melt\u00a0back\u00a0into our beds but forced ourselves to\u00a0giddyup\u00a0on over\u00a0to the Silver Dollar Saloon to\u00a0hang with the other guests. And\u00a0thank God we got a second wind,\u00a0because\u00a0meeting new friends\u00a0turned out to be one of\u00a0the highlights\u00a0of\u00a0our trip.\u00a0For whatever reason, it was a very estrogen-heavy week\u00a0on the Ranch\u00a0when we were there, and a\u00a0kind of sisterhood, for lack of better word, developed between us and\u00a0the\u00a0other groups\u00a0girl-tripping there together.\u00a0There was mom and daughter Melissa and Rylee\u00a0from California and Minnesota sisters Jen and Julia,\u00a0plus\u00a0their best friend Margaret.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s just say\u00a0after throwing back a few handcrafted cocktails by our gifted bartender\u00a0Jaitlyn,\u00a0some common\u00a0trauma\u00a0was discovered and shared, tears were shed,\u00a0and hugs abounded.\u00a0It had been a devastating couple years for everyone there \u2014 death, divorce, addiction, to name a few\u00a0nightmares\u00a0\u2014 and being at the Ranch brought\u00a0sweet\u00a0relief and release. We went bowling\u00a0on the four-lane alley in the\u00a0saloon\u00a0and\u00a0made a\u00a0TikTok\u00a0video\u00a0doing\u00a0the Neon Moon challenge, with cameos by\u00a0Jaitlyn\u00a0and\u00a0Kary\u00a0our\u00a0driver, who was also an excellent dancer\u00a0on top of all her other skills.\u00a0We were\u00a0the\u00a0happy\u00a0version of\u00a0<\/span>Nine Perfect Strangers<\/span><\/i>\u00a0\u2014 just \u201886 the Russian guru\u00a0and\u00a0add three goats named Gummy Worm, Fruit Snack and S\u2019mores.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When it was time to put the chairs in the wagon and head home, I wasn\u2019t too mad because my body and EJ\u2019s liver couldn\u2019t handle much more fun. But we were\u00a0definitely\u00a0sad\u00a0to leave this\u00a0refuge from the real world.\u00a0EJ and I would never forget this trip\u00a0and how it lifted us out of our pandemic funk.\u00a0\u201cI love how quickly we all bonded,\u201d Margaret\u00a0DM\u2019d\u00a0me. \u201cI get goosebumps even when I talk about it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Same. I swear I was beaming and smiled like a maniac for at least two weeks after my trip to The Ranch at Rock Creek,\u00a0until I\u00a0unfortunately\u00a0stumbled on CNN\u00a0while searching for the World Fishing Network. My mind was clear, and my soul was recharged, but most of all, I felt so much hope and faith in the younger generation. If Erin and Kary and\u00a0Jaitlyn\u00a0and Paige and all the barn girls were the future of womanhood, I knew we were in good hands.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s all I got to say about that, partner. I \u201caccidentally\u201d left my cowboy hat in my room but if I hadn\u2019t, I\u2019d touch the brim, give a little nod, and silently ride off into the sunset.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Credit: Dibs Baer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"author":32021,"featured_media":40921,"template":"","format":"standard","categories":[38,16],"yoast_head":"\nThe Ranch At Rock Creek: The Wonder Woman Island of the West<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I don\u2019t know about you, but because of the pandemic I hadn\u2019t been on a real vacation in a freakishly long time.\u00a0I don\u2019t count\u00a0one terrifying night in Vegas being mouth-\u00a0and nose-breathed on by hordes of unmasked, (probably)\u00a0unvaxxed\u00a0tourists. Dummies.\u00a0Feeling\u00a0trapped in my house\u00a0in\u00a0Palm Springs...\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/articles\/ranch-at-rock-creek\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Ranch At Rock Creek: The Wonder Woman Island of the West\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I don\u2019t know about you, but because of the pandemic I hadn\u2019t been on a real vacation in a freakishly long time.\u00a0I don\u2019t count\u00a0one terrifying night in Vegas being mouth-\u00a0and nose-breathed on by hordes of unmasked, (probably)\u00a0unvaxxed\u00a0tourists. 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