{"id":27640,"date":"2021-06-25T14:32:01","date_gmt":"2021-06-25T14:32:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/?post_type=articles&p=27640"},"modified":"2021-06-25T14:32:01","modified_gmt":"2021-06-25T14:32:01","slug":"last-pride-madonna","status":"publish","type":"articles","link":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/articles\/last-pride-madonna\/","title":{"rendered":"The Last Pride On Earth, Day 3: Madonna And A Near-Death Experience On The Pier"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Madonna
Madonna performs during WorldPride NYC 2019 (Photo: Kevin Mazur\/Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Pride<\/a> is back\u2026sort of. Mostly? This weird, transitional, hybrid Pride season has me thinking back on Pride 2019, the last fully in-person Pride before the pandemic \u2014 which also happened to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising. That year, I kept a diary of all the nonsense my friends and I got up to during what, in the two years since, I\u2019ve come to think of as The Last Pride on Earth. On Day 1<\/a>, we tried to drink all the champagne at 30 Rock. On Day 2<\/a>, Grace Jones rocked our world. These are the final entries of those mostly accurate, entirely true diaries.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sunday, June 30, 2019<\/strong>
\n3pm: <\/strong>Spent the morning watching Grace Jones<\/a>\u2019s documentary Bloodlight and Bami<\/em> and trying on different tank top and shorts pairings. Decide to head into the city and just wander the West Village around the outskirts of the NYC Pride March<\/a> with my friend Slam.<\/p>\n

I always forget the weird mix of mayhem and magic on the streets on Pride Sunday. It\u2019s utter chaos. The vibe is celebratory, but also it feels like something awful could happen at any moment. People are in a great mood, but they\u2019re also mostly at least a little drunk. What would it take for all this exuberant, joyous festivity to tip over into pandemonium?<\/p>\n

Slam and I are killing time in Jackson Square Park. I spot a sexy, muscley shirtless blond across Eighth Avenue. \u201cOh Lord,\u201d I pray aloud, \u201cBring that blond youth unto me that I may attempt to have congress with him. Bring his perfect butt close unto mine eyes.\u201d And then weirdly, the blond and his friends do an about-face and head across Eighth and into the park. The blond guy is looking right at me as he enters the park. \u201cHi!\u201d I say.<\/p>\n

\u201cHiiiiiii,\u201d he says in a comically deep voice that makes me laugh out loud, and one of the girls he\u2019s with laughs at me laughing.<\/p>\n

My godless prayer answered, I find myself wondering if I have to be a Christian now.<\/p>\n

6:30pm: <\/strong>Slam and I go to his private house party benefiting the Trevor Project. It\u2019s at a first floor loft on 13th Street, and Slam describes the gays who live there as starving artists who bought the place in 1998 when they used to have money.<\/p>\n

There are cute guys at the party, some of them I recognize from Instagram. An editor from Buzzfeed is there wearing the same wide mesh tank top as me, only it looks better on him because of the way his pecs\u2026exist<\/em>. Billy Porter<\/a> is apparently supposed to stop by later, but I have to leave before he arrives so I can get to Pier 97 again to see Madonna.<\/p>\n

9:11pm:<\/strong> Oh god! Please don\u2019t let me die on this pier! AAAAARRGHHHH!<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Madonna
Madonna performs during WorldPride NYC 2019 (Photo: Kevin Mazur\/Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

11:15pm: <\/strong>Huh. That was\u2026a thing I experienced. Unsure how to feel about what just happened.<\/p>\n

The crowd on the pier was almost intolerable. Like last night, the stage was set up in the center, so that you had to pass through this impenetrable wall of testosterone, steroids and glitter to get to either end where the bars were located. I managed to stake out a spot towards the back, just under the nearly empty VIP booth where Donatella Versace<\/a> sat calmly as the crushing mass of shirtless, muscley gays squirmed just below her. Part of me thought the whole thing should have seemed a little bit sexier, being squashed against so many rippling back muscles, exposed nipples brushing past, the air thick with sweat and pheromones. But that was all drowned out by the part of my brain that kept sounding the alarm: \u201cThis pier is a death trap! It is going to crumble into the river! Or someone is going to yell, Fire! <\/em>and we will all be crushed in the stampede!\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not complaining though. It is historic and notable to have seen Madonna perform at Pride on the 50 anniversary of Stonewall. She opened her set with \u201cVogue,\u201d wearing her Madame X<\/em> eye-patch, which even she admitted was a bit ill conceived \u2014 \u201cWhen I started wearing this eye-patch I should have realized I wouldn\u2019t have any peripheral vision.\u201d<\/p>\n

Next came \u201cAmerican Life,\u201d then a speech about gay rights and the significance of the occasion. \u201cI know this pier has a lot of history,\u201d she quipped, \u201cbut don\u2019t you guys feel like you\u2019re in a parking lot right now?\u201d No, actually, I felt like I was in a meat grinder.<\/p>\n

She had a leather daddy come onstage to help her change into a pair of combat boots that Donatella had designed for her. And then she did a couple songs from the new album, \u201cGod Control,\u201d and \u201cI Rise.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I could keep going,\u201d she told the crowd after taking a bow with all her backup dancers. \u201cI wish I\u2019d rehearsed more songs!\u201d I kinda wished that too, but also was relieved to shuffle\u2014ankle deep in discarded water bottles, plastic cups and wine cans\u2014off the pier with the rest of the herd as fireworks burst overhead.<\/p>\n

Walking through Hell\u2019s Kitchen to the subway, the streets were crawling with roaming packs of scantily clad homosexuals on their way to Alegria, etc. There was a line down the block at Rise on Ninth Ave. All these fine young gay boys venturing off into the night looking for adventure, love, sex. I wondered how many of them would find what they were looking for, how many would be surprised by what they\u2019d find.<\/p>\n

Monday, July 1, 2019: Pride Resolutions<\/strong>
\nI\u2019ve been thinking about Pride as the culmination of the LGBTQ calendar \u2014 kind of like New Year\u2019s Eve. In June we march and make our voices heard and we celebrate our accomplishments and the work still to be done. So, I think it\u2019s worth taking the time to consider the work ahead.<\/p>\n

Of course, being heinously shallow and brain damaged by the sight of so, so<\/em> many shirtless dudes with perfect bods on the pier last night, my Pride resolutions are mostly about significantly changing my body.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Eat only fish and veg for the rest of the summer. Eliminate carbs and sugar. Or reduce anyway. (Salmon, spinach, kale have additional benefit of vitamins etc. which combat depression, or so I\u2019m told by the Internet.)<\/li>\n
  2. Do exercising. Seven min workout app is fine for now probably. Explore home pec exercising as well, as am uninterested is actually going to gym.<\/li>\n
  3. Maybe take up yoga? Or running? Or pole dancing classes, as they seem fun and good for one\u2019s \u201ccore\u201d \u2014 whatever that is. Possibly buy small weights?<\/li>\n
  4. Explore volunteer opportunities at Ali Forney Center, Trevor Project or similar.<\/li>\n
  5. Also, read seminal queer liberation texts like Larry Mitchell\u2019s The Faggots and Their Friends Between Revolutions<\/em> and Larry Kramer\u2019s Faggots<\/em> and Andrew Holleran\u2019s Dancer from the Dance<\/em>.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now, must start thinking about what to wear for the Fire Island Pines Invasion on Thursday\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":29097,"featured_media":27644,"template":"","format":"standard","categories":[38,16],"yoast_head":"\nThe Last Pride On Earth: Madonna and a Near-Death Experience<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It is historic and notable to have seen Madonna perform at Pride on the 50 anniversary of Stonewall. 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