{"id":112257,"date":"2026-06-08T07:00:27","date_gmt":"2026-06-08T07:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/?post_type=articles&p=112257"},"modified":"2026-06-05T08:47:47","modified_gmt":"2026-06-05T08:47:47","slug":"according-to-a-psychologist-these-7-phrases-are-commonly-used-by-emotionally-immature-parents-25497","status":"publish","type":"articles","link":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/articles\/according-to-a-psychologist-these-7-phrases-are-commonly-used-by-emotionally-immature-parents-25497\/","title":{"rendered":"According to a psychologist, these 7 phrases are commonly used by emotionally immature parents"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"these
According to a psychologist, these 7 phrases are commonly used by emotionally immature parents<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

You probably remember the exact tone. Maybe it came at the dinner table, maybe in the car, maybe during an argument you didn’t even start. A parent said something that made you feel small, confused or simply wrong for having feelings at all. You brushed it off because, well, they were the adult. But decades later, those words still echo in the way you talk to yourself, set boundaries and show up in relationships. According to one therapist, that lingering discomfort you carry is not a coincidence – and you were never imagining things.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Why certain parental phrases leave lasting marks<\/b><\/h2>\n

Dr. Matt Glowiak, Ph.D., LCPC, CAADC, the chief addiction specialist with Recovered.org, compares growing up with emotionally immature parents to trying to build a house on shifting sand. No matter how hard a child works to create stability, the foundation keeps moving beneath them. Emotionally immature parents, meaning those who lack emotional awareness and regulation, often rely on a handful of go-to phrases that sting, confuse or silence their children.<\/span><\/p>\n

The old saying about sticks and stones? Dr. Glowiak disagrees with it entirely. He notes that the pain inflicted by these kinds of words can remain chronic well into adulthood. Over time, these phrases shape how we see ourselves and how we relate to others. So what did these parents actually say?<\/span><\/p>\n

The seven phrases that signal a parent lacked emotional maturity<\/b><\/h2>\n

The first is telling a child they are too sensitive or too much. Dr. Glowiak explains that emotionally immature parents often lack the capacity to empathize, so they deflect their own discomfort by blaming the child’s reaction instead of reflecting on their own behavior<\/a><\/strong>. Children who internalize this message frequently grow up believing something is fundamentally wrong with them, that they are weaker than others. As adults, they may avoid relationships and risks and become their own harshest critics.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then there is the classic shutdown: because I said so. Dr. Glowiak points out that when this phrase replaces a real explanation, it discourages curiosity and critical thinking. It reflects a need for control over connection and leaves children feeling powerless. Without understanding the reasoning behind a decision, a child misses a valuable opportunity to learn how to make better-informed choices in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n

Equally damaging is the threat that essentially tells a child they will be given something to cry about. Dr. Glowiak describes this as a hallmark of emotional immaturity because it prioritizes the parent’s discomfort over the child’s fundamental need for comfort and safety. The message it sends is unmistakable: emotions are not safe here.<\/span><\/p>\n

Blaming a child for everything going wrong in the family is another telltale sign. Dr. Glowiak says emotionally immature parents who rely on sweeping blame are usually projecting their own emotional chaos onto their kids, unfairly scapegoating them. This teaches children to internalize guilt for situations far beyond their control.<\/span><\/p>\n

The martyr line – claiming to do everything for the child – may sound like selfless sacrifice on the surface. But Dr. Glowiak notes it is often designed to guilt kids into compliance. It reflects a lack of boundaries and an expectation that love must be repaid with emotional loyalty. Worth remembering: when you were a helpless infant, providing everything was precisely the responsibility your parents took on.<\/span><\/p>\n

Comparing a child to a disliked relative weaponizes identity. Dr. Glowiak explains that this kind of comparison reduces a child to someone else’s flaws rather than seeing them as a unique individual. It triggers guilt and resentment, especially when the child loves the parent making the remark. Because the phrase insults both the child and another person simultaneously, it also teaches that devaluing others is acceptable.<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, insisting that a parent is not the child’s friend is not inherently wrong, but emotionally immature parents use it to create emotional distance rather than healthy authority. Dr. Glowiak agrees that parents are not friends, yet he stresses that healthy caregiver relationships still leave room for negotiation and connection – something emotionally immature parents rarely allow.<\/span><\/p>\n

How to start healing from these patterns<\/b><\/h2>\n

If any of these phrases feel painfully familiar, Dr. Glowiak offers a clear starting point: become the person you needed when you were younger. That begins with naming what you feel, accepting it without judgment and responding to yourself with compassion<\/a><\/strong>. He describes this practice as rebuilding emotional safety from the inside out.<\/span><\/p>\n

Boundaries matter just as much. Dr. Glowiak stresses that healing means learning to say no without guilt and recognizing that protecting your peace is not selfish – it is essential. Even our parents are responsible for their own emotions, and continuing to shoulder that weight is not only exhausting but further emotionally damaging.<\/span><\/p>\n

Support is the final piece. Dr. Glowiak emphasizes that healing does not happen in isolation. Surrounding yourself with people who listen, respect your feelings and show up consistently can take many forms, whether that is therapy, friendships or support groups. Emotionally safe relationships, he says, help rewrite the story of what love can look like.<\/span><\/p>\n

The bottom line<\/b><\/h2>\n

Seven short phrases may seem harmless on the surface, but when delivered by a parent who lacks emotional regulation, they can quietly reshape a child’s entire sense of self. Recognizing these patterns is not about assigning blame – it is about understanding why certain emotional reflexes feel so deeply wired. You can rebuild trust in your own feelings, set boundaries that protect your well-being and seek out relationships rooted in genuine safety. The foundation your parents could not give you is one you are fully capable of building yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42690,"featured_media":112258,"template":"","format":"standard","categories":[3914],"yoast_head":"\nAccording to a psychologist, these 7 phrases are commonly used by emotionally immature parents - Grazia USA<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/us\/articles\/according-to-a-psychologist-these-7-phrases-are-commonly-used-by-emotionally-immature-parents-25497\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"According to a psychologist, these 7 phrases are commonly used by emotionally immature parents\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You probably remember the exact tone. 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