{"id":26364,"date":"2022-08-17T07:41:54","date_gmt":"2022-08-16T21:41:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/?post_type=articles&p=219043"},"modified":"2022-08-17T14:30:30","modified_gmt":"2022-08-17T04:30:30","slug":"comparing-relationship-social-media","status":"publish","type":"articles","link":"https:\/\/graziamagazine.com\/me\/articles\/comparing-relationship-social-media\/","title":{"rendered":"The Plot Twist In Comparing Your Relationship On Social Media"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Olivia Wilde & Jason Sudeikis. Emily Ratajkowski & Sebastian Bear-McClard \/ Instagram<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A few weeks ago, a woman I follow on Instagram, Dee, posted a birthday tribute to Brendan, a man she called \u201cthe love of my life, my soulmate\u201d. In one photo, she\u2019s in his arms, flinging her head back on the stairs of a museum as he holds her around the waist \u2013 the picture of comedic, over-the-top drama. In another, Brendan and Dee are posing for a family photo with their cat. Every picture presented the same story for me \u2013 this was a couple that had a lot of fun together, two people so completely in sync they likely never had an argument, a lull in conversation, or a night on the couch glued to their phones.<\/span><\/p>\n

Brendan and Dee seemed perfect.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Come on, they at least look like an adorable couple in this photo. Image: Supplied.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I get a lot of anxiety around relationships, and have forever. I mean <\/span>forever<\/span><\/i> – there was that time in year 6 when the boy I had a crush on sent his friend to ask me if I\u2019d want to go to the school dance with him (I had a rush of panic and immediately declined, then felt devastated when he took another girl in my class). There was my first boyfriend, who had to cope with me spiralling every few weeks over whether we were \u2018right\u2019 together. Today, I\u2019m happily living with my partner \u2013 we own a dog, and it\u2019s the first relationship where I can be my complete self \u2013 but anxiety still rears its head every so often, and social media is often the catalyst. I compare my relationship constantly to others online. <\/span><\/p>\n

Are we funny enough? Cool enough? Stylish enough? Do we talk enough? Spend enough time together?\u00a0Too much<\/em> time together? The list of concerns never ends.<\/span><\/p>\n

This time, however, I decided I was going to ask Dee to give me the real story. Was her love story as idyllic as it looked? Well, it turns out, it definitely wasn\u2019t. At least, not in the way I\u2019d assumed.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s my best friend Brendan,\u201d she said. We had a good laugh about this \u2013 she calls him her \u201cplatonic life partner\u201d, and yes, they\u2019ve been confused for a romantic couple before.<\/span><\/p>\n

To be fair, Brendan and Dee live together in Melbourne, co-own a cat, and \u201cdo <\/span>everything<\/span><\/i> as a couple\u201d, even though they are, you know, not a couple. So my assumption wasn’t entirely chaotic. They are very happy, very in sync and soulmates. They\u2019re just not in a romantic partnership \u2013 and before you think this is a <\/span>When Harry Met Sally<\/span><\/i> situation, it\u2019s worth noting that Brendan is gay. \u201c<\/span>It\u2019s one of the healthiest relationships I\u2019ve ever been in, and he\u2019s taught me so much about secure attachment and love,\u201d Dee explains. \u201cWe call each other platonic life partners and soulmates, and while we date\/sleep with other people, no one has ever really come close to what we have.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

This twist had me thinking about other couples I\u2019d compared my relationship to in the past. There\u2019s my friend Alisha Aitken-Radburn, who met her partner Glenn on the reality tv show <\/span>Bachelor In Paradise<\/span><\/i>. We all watched their love story unfold on national television, and while it\u2019s true that they\u2019re a great match and have a genuinely beautiful love between them, Alisha has always been honest with me about how normal their day-to-day is.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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A post shared by ALISHA AITKEN-RADBURN (@alisha.aitkenradburn)<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n