NEW YORK, NEW YORK – SEPTEMBER 13: Pete Davidson attends The 2021 Met Gala Celebrating In America: A Lexicon Of Fashion at Metropolitan Museum of Art on September 13, 2021 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue )

If you’ve even so much as looked at a phone or computer screen at any point over the past five months, there’s a high chance you know exactly who Pete Davidson is and exactly who he’s dating: only one of the world’s most famous women, Kim Kardashian. 

Even before the SNL comedian managed to woo Kardashian, amid her being reportedly courted by billionaires, sports players and even royals following her divorce from Kanye West, Davidson’s dating history had made him an infamous character in the pop culture landscape. He went from dating comedian Cazzie David to a brief engagement with Ariana Grande, onto dating Kate Beckinsale, to briefly romancing some of the current coolest up and coming supermodels and actors: Margaret Qualley, Kaia Gerber and Phoebe Dynevor. A few months later, he was photographed hand-in-hand with Kardashian. If Princess Diana was alive, he would have dated her, too.

Chat about Davidson’s allure and his private parts made up a viral article that made the term Big Dick Energy a household one. And when we’re not talking about BDE, we’re watching him on SNL or Calvin Klein adverts or in a movie about him being the King of Staten Island.

Basically, try as you might, it’s impossible to avoid Pete Davidson. That is, unless you’re Britney Spears. 

On Tuesday, Spears reposted a video from Scott Disick’s Instagram Story, which depicted him falling asleep while he was supposed to be on a ‘wild boy’s night out’ with Davidson and friends. In the clip, Davidson had taken control of the camera, filming himself on the couch watching a movie while Disick and two other men slept around him. I wish I didn’t already know everything about this stupid evening, but of course, I do—and you probably do, too! But imagine if none of this information was taking up space in your brain. Imagine what Davidson’s dating history could be replaced by: algebra! Geography! Literally anything else! 

“Sorry had to repost this,” Spears wrote in a since-deleted post. “No idea who these people in the video are but it made me laugh so hard !!!!”

Let’s just rewind a bit here. “No idea who these people are,” the pop star wrote, insinuating not only has she managed to avoid any news of Davidson’s love life, entertainment career or dick, but she also doesn’t know who Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian’s longtime ex-boyfriend and star of Keeping Up with the Kardashians for basically the past 15 years is, either.  I want a brain like Britney’s.

Now, of course, the concerning part about this is that now she’s opened herself up to Davidson in some small way, she’ll likely be dating him this time next year. That’s just how these things go when Pete Davidson is concerned. Don’t say we didn’t warn you, Brit.