WESTWOOD, CALIFORNIA – JANUARY 11: Selena Gomez attends the Premiere of Universal Pictures’ “Dolittle” at Regency Village Theatre on January 11, 2020 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Tibrina Hobson/FilmMagic)

Ahead of the release of her documentary, My Mind & Me, Selena Gomez opened up about the impact her bi-polar diagnosis earlier this year has had on her life in an interview with Rolling Stone

The 30-year-old actress says that after a 2018 psychosis episode and subsequent bipolar disorder diagnosis, she was prescribed multiple medications, but that her psychiatrist has now pulled her off all but two due to their scarily intense impact on her, both physically and mentally.

“I had to detox, essentially, from the medications I was on,” Gomez explained. “I had to learn how to remember certain words. I would forget where I was when we were talking.” Gomez added she felt “gone” before detoxing. “There was no part of me that was there anymore,” she said.

Revealing she may not be able to carry children due to the medications she’s on for her condition, Gomez said that whether the future will include kids for her is a “very big, big present thing in my life.”

She added, “However I’m meant to have them, I will.”

Gomez told the publication she had a wedding-themed birthday this year when she turned 30 in July as she thought she would be married by now. “I grew up thinking I would be married at 25,” she explained. “It wrecked me that I was nowhere near that — couldn’t be farther from it,” she continued. “It was so stupid, but I really thought my world was over.”

Thankfully, Gomez’s friend, Cara Delevingne knew how to lighten the mood: “We had lovely drinks, and it was beautiful, and then my friend Cara comes in and brings strippers.”