NEW YORK, NY – JUNE 03: Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen attend the 2019 CFDA Fashion Awards at The Brooklyn Museum on June 3, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Taylor Hill/FilmMagic)

Despite growing up alongside the Olsen twins – watching them on Full House as children to New York Minute as teenagers to the red carpet as adults and the founders of luxury fashion label, The Row – somehow Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are still such an enigma that they don’t even feel like real humans walking the same earth as you and I. 

What it is that makes the Olsens so unattainable is almost hard to describe. It’s not like they’re the only celebrities who shun social media: you won’t find some of Hollywood’s biggest names, such as Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Scarlett Johansson and even every millennial woman’s obsession, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, anywhere near Instagram.

It’s not like they don’t go to events: they attend fashion’s biggest red carpet event of the year, the Met Gala, almost annually.

And it’s not like they don’t do the occasional interview: Mary-Kate even opened up about her marriage and step-children in 2017. 

But it’s still not enough. I want to know what they had for breakfast today and every other day. I want to know what their favourite movies are and which twin is more organised than the other. I want to know whether they like cats or dogs better and which serums they use.

So to wake up and find that the Olsens have graced Instagram with their presence is like Christmas came early. Even better than a selfie, it’s a selfie video. Even better than that? It’s for Ashley Benson’s 30th birthday. 

Of course, this information brings with it a whole multitude of different questions: How does Ashley Benson even know the Olsen twins? Did her girlfriend, Cara Delevingne, organise this? Are Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen secretly on one of those weird websites where you can pay celebrities to wish you happy birthday like Snoop Dogg is?

In the video, which has naturally been watched more than five million times in 24 hours, the twins say “Happy Birthday, Ashley,” in unison. “I hope this year is one of the best ones yet. We are sending you lots of love,” they say.

Mary-Kate then goes solo: “Soooo magical”, dragging out the “so” in a brilliantly monotoned way, and “can’t wait to meet you soon”, before Ashley, coffee cup in hand, blows a kiss to the camera and they wave goodbye. 

Naturally, Mary-Kate and Ashley are wearing sunglasses in the video – dark tinted aviators by The Row – and are dressed in oversized black clothing, as is their uniform. Ashley is in a black shawl embroidered with red thread and Mary Kate, a tailored black woollen coat. The only thing missing from this video is two cigarettes, which we’d place money on being lit up 6 seconds after filming.

Who knew Ashley Benson’s 30th would provide gifts for all?