It’s becoming apparent that somewhere towards the end of the 1990s in some mystical, Indiana-Jonesy jungle, Courtney Love, Winona Ryder, Kate Moss and Tori Spelling formed a coven and uncovered the Holy Grail. The fabled golden goblet that claims to hold the secret to eternal youth. To infinite virality. To forever great skin. But, it seems, just as Mossy went to take a swig, Ryder and Love got into a scuffle and alas Grail juice went everywhere. All over every last sequiny, spandexy, platformy, slip-dressy, chequered-flannely, Doc-Martiny piece they had dripping from their It-girl silhouettes.

It was then that the doom was set. What should have been fleeting trend-couture was suddenly embalmed and preserved for all designers for all eternity. Never would the world be free from the threat of a Tencel jean invasion. From the risk of an ironic oversized Planet Hollywood t-shirt flare up. And it would only take the smallest #throwback to send cargo trousers and slip-tops into a neo-norm.

Courtney Love Singing at the Glastonbury Festival (Photo by Rune Hellestad/CORBIS/Corbis via Getty Images)
Kate Moss in 1997 photographed by Tom Ford. Instagram @90smilk
Winona Ryder at a film premiere in 1992. GETTY IMAGES

One could argue that Jane Birkin, Farrah Fawcett and Bianca Jagger discovered the Grail long before those of nineties infamy and cast the same spell, for their closets of suede and fringe have remained on suspicious rotation ever since. Or that, in 1989, Michelle Pfeiffer, Madonna and Elle Macpherson spritzed the Holy tipple on to their shoulder pads and bubble skirts before it was too late. These decades seem strangely more palatable, however. We’re able to relish in the romantic retrospection of the seventies and eighties but the nineties are still a little raw for those of us who lived it as our coming-of-style-age. It’s not a forget-where-we-came-from, fooled-by-the-rocks-that-we-got situation but rather a whiplash from the era’s premature glorified hindsight. We’re. Just. Not. Ready.

But ready or not, here they come. Donatella’s usual golden slickness was fraught with roughed-up Nirvana grunge this season, while Miuccia’s Addams Family ethic re-delivered lace-and-boots emo-culture. Lanvin’s new director Bruno Sialelli hit us with flip-back-brim hats (you know, like Blossom’s) while Virgil dared to reinterpret chequerboard squares for Off-White – last seen in 1999 all over everything at General Pants. Jeremy Scott gave us moto-denim with Courtney Love cuddling up to him post show and Anthony Vaccarello blew new life into neon feathers for Saint Laurent with Kate Moss cheering from the front row. Hmm, the coven returneth.

MILAN, ITALY – FEBRUARY 22: A model walks the runway at the Versace Ready to Wear Fall/Winter 2019-2020 fashion show at Milan Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2019/20 on February 20, 2019 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Victor VIRGILE/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)
MILAN, ITALY – FEBRUARY 21: A model walks the runway at the Prada Ready to Wear Fall/winter 2019-2020 fashion show at Milan Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2019/20 on February 21, 2019 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Victor VIRGILE/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)
Jeremy Scott and Courtney Love pose backstage for the Jeremy Scott fashion show during New York Fashion Week: The Shows at Gallery I at Spring Studios on February 8, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images for NYFW: The Shows)
Actress Chloe Sevigny at the Simone Rocha show during London Fashion Week February 2019 at the Royal Academy of Arts on February 16, 2019 in London, England. Getty Images

With season after season hitting us with nineties glory, perhaps it’s time to accept our cyclical fate. Ride out the redux in Prada’s combat boots, Simone Rocha’s grungey petticoats and Miu Miu’s sky-high platforms. It’s all getting pretty chic anyway, we might actually enjoy it. Just, for God’s sake, keep the Grail away from the Kardashians. No one wants that shit again in 30 years.