PARIS, FRANCE – OCTOBER 03: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend attends the Miu Miu aftershow party as part of the Paris Fashion Week Womenswear Spring/Summer 2018 at Boum Boum on October 3, 2017 in Paris, France. (Photo by Victor Boyko/Getty Images)

Chrissy Teigen is forever making jokes and trolling her musician husband, John Legend, on Twitter, but when the model first gave birth to her daughter, Luna, she suffered from severe postpartum depression which she says made her hate herself.

Speaking with Glamour UK, the mother of two said that she didn’t realise she was dealing with postpartum depression until her firstborn was three months old and that she had been putting off getting checked because her negative feelings were towards herself, not Luna.

“It was a sad existence,” she said. “There were no highs. It was a flatline of life for a few months.”

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“You hear these horrific stories of people not seeing their child as theirs, or wanting to hurt them, and I never felt that way. That’s why I put off getting it checked as I hated myself, not my child,” she said. “I don’t know why I didn’t realise, as it was so obvious to everyone else.”

“I didn’t know it could sneak up so late or that it could happen to someone like me, where I have all the resources,” she continued. “I had nannies and my mum living with us. You say you have it and people think, ‘Is she going to jump off a roof with her kid?’ They don’t know there are so many levels of it.”

Teigen recalled becoming “very introverted” as a result of the depression because of a “paralyzing anxiety of going out.”

“I lost my baby weight and more within a month. I posted a picture of myself making a Mother’s Day lunch. I look back at that photo and it is the thinnest I’ve ever looked,” she said.

Thankfully, Teigen wasn’t worried with her second child, son Miles, because she knew the signs to look out for.

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