jennifer lopez ben affleck
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – FEBRUARY 05: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck seen during the 65th GRAMMY Awards at Crypto.com Arena on February 05, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by John Shearer/Getty Images for The Recording Academy)

Ben Affleck is well aware that his seemingly miserable face became the internet’s favourite meme at the 2023 Grammys. But in a new interview, the actor is insisting all is not what it seems: he was happy, actually. 

Speaking with The Hollywood Reporter in an interview that touched on this as well as his misconstrued Howard Stern interview – where some outlets ran with the false story he blamed his ex-wife Jennifer Garner for alcohol addiction – and his new wife Jennifer Lopez‘s advice to him. 

Of the Grammys, when his miserable-looking face went viral, Affleck said, “I had a good time at the Grammys. My wife was going, and I thought, ‘Well, there’ll be good music. It might be fun.’ At movie award shows, it’s speeches and, like, sound-mixing webinars. But I thought this would be fun.”

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – FEBRUARY 05: (L-R) Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck attend the 65th GRAMMY Awards at Crypto.com Arena on February 05, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for The Recording Academy)

Affleck went on to say that when he saw the night’s host, comedian Trevor Noah, approach him, he freaked out about having to be on camera and potentially part of a surprise segment. “I was like, ‘Oh, God.’ They were framing us in this shot, but I didn’t know they were rolling. I leaned into her and I was like, “As soon they start rolling, I’m going to slide away from you and leave you sitting next to Trevor.” She goes, ‘You better fucking not leave.’ That’s a husband-and-wife thing. I mean, some of it is, I’m like, ‘All right, who is this act?’ Like, I don’t keep up. My wife does, obviously. And yeah, it is your wife’s work event.”

Affleck continued, “And I’ve gone to events and been pissed off. I’ve gone and been bored. I’ve gone to award shows and been drunk, a bunch. Nobody ever once said I’m drunk. [But at the Grammys] they were like, ‘He’s drunk.’ And I thought, that’s interesting. That raises a whole other thing about whether or not it’s wise to acknowledge addiction because there’s a lot of compassion, but there is still a tremendous stigma, which is often quite inhibiting. I do think it disincentivises people from making their lives better.”

ben affleck
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – FEBRUARY 05: (L-R) Trevor Noah, Jennifer Lopez, and Ben Affleck attend the 65th GRAMMY Awards at Crypto.com Arena on February 05, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for The Recording Academy)

Affleck went on to say that not only can footage be misinterpreted, but words, addressing the way some publications seemingly purposefully misconstrued what he said about his alcoholism to make headlines recently.

“The idea that I was blaming my wife for my drinking. To be clear, my behaviour is my responsibility entirely. The point that I was trying to make was a sad one. Anyone who’s been through divorce makes that calculus of, How much do we try? We loved each other. We care about each other. We have respect for each other. I was trying to say, ‘Hey, look, I was drinking too much, and the less happy you become, whether it’s your job, your marriage, it’s just that as your life becomes more difficult, if you’re doing things to fill a hole that aren’t healthy, you’re going to start doing more of those things.’ I think I was pretty articulate about that.”

He went on, “It was the New York Post who deliberately mischaracterised it in order to make it clickbait, and everyone else then picked it up, and it didn’t matter how many times I said, ‘I do not feel this way. I’m telling you, I don’t blame my ex-wife for my alcoholism.’”

“So, yeah. It’s hard,” he said, on the point of speaking publicly about your personal issues. But, Affleck said, before this one, his wife had some advice: ‘Relax, be yourself. Have fun. You’re actually a fun guy who is real and genuine and you just seem so serious.’ Do I seem serious? But as in many things, she’s really right. And she loves me. She’s looking out for me. She’s trying to help me. So it’s like, maybe I ought to fucking listen to her.”